Tomorrow....

...is Ryan's 15th birthday.  I seriously can not believe it has been so many years since they place my sweet boy in my arms and I became a mother.  That's all I ever really wanted to be, and I am so glad that God no only blessed me with him, but with his sisters as well.  I remember when I found out I was pregnant with him...I so hoped that he would be a girl.  I never imagined I'd have a son.  Whenever I thought of having kids when I was younger, I just assumed I would have daughters.  I am so glad that God knew better than me and He gave me Ryan.

I can not describe my love for him...it's different than my love for my girls, if that makes any sense.  I love that he teases me...and that I now have to look up to look him in the eyes.  Seriously, he's a good five inches taller than me now.  When did THAT happen?  I love that he wants to do everything with his dad, and learn everything his dad knows.  They are seriously stuck together like glue, and I love that.  I know a lot of 15 year old boys who want nothing to do with their parents.  I love that he talks to me about everything, even the stuff I don't want to know about.  He knows I'm his friend, but he also respects me as his mother.  And I think that is important. 

I was in labor with him for 36 hours before they finally cut him out of me.  He was also 12 days late.  I guess if he had his way, he'd still be in there, because he sure as heck didn't want to come out.  I was so tired when they finally did the section (he was born at 8:21 pm) that I don't remember holding him until the next morning.  They say I did hold him, and that I asked for him to be taken away because I was afraid I would drop him.  I don't remember any of that.  I do remember, though, that next morning when they finally brought him to me, that he was the most beautiful baby in the world.  He weighed 8lbs 13oz at birth, and the nurses all called him monkey.  I never knew I could love someone as much as I loved that baby at that moment.  Sure, I love my husband, but I think a mother's love is more protective and primal, if that makes any sense.

Anyway, tomorrow, my baby is one year closer to being a man.  If the past 15 years are any indication, he's going to be a wonderful man.  Any girl will be lucky to have him.

That is, if they can get to him through me.  After all, I am his mother.

Digital Protection

That seems to be the name of the virus that has attached itself to my computer. I have no idea how to get rid of it. Thankfully, other than being really annoyed, I can still get online. I just have to continuously close pop ups that insist that my computer is being attacked. Every now and then, the virus completely shuts down my computer, and that is getting old fast. Oh, and then there are the three porn site icons that materialize on my desktop. I delete them...five minutes later they are back. I am just glad the porn sites aren't opening up on their own. At least the icons are hidden when I am online.

I have forbidden the kids from using the computer until I get this fixed.

Other than that, I have been spending the day getting ready for my company that's coming over tomorrow night. Last Sunday was my dad's birthday, so I am cooking dinner tomorrow night, and then we'll do cake. My sister is coming with Carson and Lylah, which should be fun.  You all know how much I love my nephew and niece.  I might even try to talk my dad into playing around with my computer.  I need help from someone.

Hello, Hello, Hello

What a great week last week was! I was so busy, and it was so worth it. I got to hang out with family and great friends, and for the most part, I enjoyed every second of it.

I say for the most part, because of course there were moments when I wished the kids were in school and I could find a moment for myself. In an apartment this small, no one has any privacy. Sometimes it can be extremely frustrating. Some days, the only quiet I find is taking a shower.

I can not wait until we move.

We got all the Christmas decorations put up and the tree is assembled. It has lights on it, but no ornaments. The girls are going to do that when they get home from school. Ryan has no interest, which I kind of expected. Junior was going to "make" him participate, but I talked him out of it. He's a 14 year old boy, and this behavior is to be expected, right? I know in a few years he will start wanting to do things as a family again, and I can wait. I don't want to pressure him to do something just to say he did it, you know what I mean?

I found out over the weekend that I am going to be an aunt to another niece, which is awesome. I found out by reading an update on facebook, which kind of hurt my feelings, but whatever. Some things are not worth getting upset about, and as long as the baby is healthy, (which she is) that is all that matters. Now I get to make three little girls name signs, which I am excited to do! I love making girl things.

I finally figured out what all my nieces and nephews are getting for Christmas this year, and it cost me a total of about $8 for all 12. Amazing, right? Thanksgiving night I was sitting, figuring up what bills I could pay with Juniors check Friday, and it dawned on me that he will only get one more paycheck before Christmas. Talk about your heart stopping! I am no where near finished shopping for my kids, and the thought of spending money on anyone else is out of the question. Luckily, inspiration struck when I found something on sale Black friday at Michael's. It's not much, but I believe in the "it's the thought that counts" philosophy, and I did put a lot of time into the gifts, so that's gotta count for something, right? I will post pictures of the ones I made for my kids on my craft blog soon.

I am also planning Brandi's birthday party, and thankfully I planned it so that it is after food stamps kick in for this month. She wants to invite kids from school, but with her being my 3rd kid, I know that kids this age don't come. It wasn't until about 5th grade that Ryan and Kasi has friends come to their parties, and I don't want her to be disappointed. Besides, my house is way to small.

She wants a "wizards of waverly place" party...this kid can't be easy! lol! My mom is in charge of the cake, and since she has no idea what "wizards" are, it should be interesting to see what she comes up with.

Let's see....what else has been going on???

Oh, I lost another 3 pounds. I know, it's crazy. I was totally expecting to see a gain on Saturday morning when I finally got up the nerve to get on the scale, and it showed a loss. I was shocked. I didn't exactly eat well last week, but thinking back, the days we ate badly, I ate badly one meal, and that was pretty much the only time I ate that whole day. Maybe that had something to do with it. I am pretty much convinced that there is something going on with me...maybe blood sugar issues...causing me to lose weight, but I have yet to muster up the courage to google "unexplained weight loss". I really don't want to freak myself out.

I guess that's about it. This week should be quiet, and hopefully I will get the house cleaned and some opps done. Fingers crossed! lol!

Slowdown...Who, Me?

I love being at home. I love days when I do not have to get out of my "comfy" clothes. It seems like the past couple of weeks, I have been "going" more than I have been "staying".

It started when my sister had the baby the day before Halloween, and it hasn't stopped yet. Friday was Ryan's birthday, so we went out to dinner. (for the kids birthdays, they get to pick the restaurant) We invited Missy and her gang to join us, and as usual, we had a blast! I didn't even realize we were in the restaurant for over 2 hours! Of course, it was Golden Corral, so between laughs and babies, we were all shoving our faces. It was sooo good, and of course I left with a tummy ache. In fact, i think we all did! lol! Juior's ex-mother-in-law also met us there, and I think she had a good time, too.

Then yesterday, it was up early to get ready for my niece's 3rd birthday party. They live about an hour away, and of course I wanted to go see Lylah first. The party was fun for Brandi...it was a princess party, and all the little girls dressed in princess dresses. They all looked adorable! We didn't stay long after...my mom has a hard time driving that far in the dark...and headed for a little more time with Collen, Carson, and Lylah. After a yummy dinner of Chinese food, we all hung out for a little while, and then I came home and took some cold/allergy medicine and crashed in bed by 9:30.

As soon as I got up this morning, we went fishing for a bit...no bits so we came back home and just chilled. I had a little ache in my back yesterday that turned into severe pain today every time I move, so I have been keeping the heating pad on it. My mom says to ice it, but it's hard to get the ice exactly where I need it.

The next three days are going to be a little busy, too. Tomorrow we have to pick Kasi up from school for a doctor's appointment. I love my doctors...we have been using them for about 10 years now. But, the latest appointment of the day is 4pm, and Kasi gets off the bus later than that every day, so we have to go pick her up early so she can make her 2:30 appointment. I am taking her for her rash, and am hoping we won't need to make a trip to the dermatologist.

Tuesday is the 10th...food shopping day! Then Brandi is in a Veterans Day program at her school. Don't worry...there will be TONS of pictures taken...maybe even a little video, if Ryan can find his video camera.

Wednesday is therapy. That means it will be at least Thursday before I can be lazy all day. Hopefully I can make some money from some posts this week between the craziness...Christmas is coming, and I have presents to buy! lol!

Shall I Ramble Again?

Got on the scale again this morning...down another 3 pounds. Must have been the workout my fat behind got on Saturday helping my brother. I'm not complaining...I like the numbers going down...I just need to keep them going in that direction.

Did a little shopping for Kasi's party today. I am getting excited to see everyone...missy, you're still coming, right?...I just hope it doesn't rain. It rained in October, and we learned then that my house is just too small for so many people...besides, I want the kids to be able to get wet. I have water balloon plans...sshhhhhh.....

I have so much to do cleaning this house, too, but I always wait until the last minute. Friday I want to get all the food ready, and Saturday I need to get the yard done. I need to send an email asking people to bring their own outdoor chairs...I don't have enough. We weren't able to borrow the sno cone machine, but saw one in wal-mart for $15 we might get...we have the syrup left over from October...that stuff doesn't go bad, right, if i keep it in the fridge? Maybe I'll just get some more....

Too many decisions to make!