Tonight, Kasi had a concert. We went as a family, and it was soooo hard on me. As hard as I try, there are still things that upset me, and sitting in the audience, knowing that this is how it is going to be from now on, was more than I could take. I don't want to have to split the things the kids do...I just need time, and I think that is hard for some people to understand. Even though I do not want in any way to reconcile with my husband, I am mourning the loss of my marriage. It is not an easy thing, no matter how upbeat I sound all the time.
I also have a horrible habit of speaking what is on my mind without really thinking. I have got to stop doing that. I find myself continuously apologizing, and it's making me crazy. I told Bob today that I think I might need to go see my doctor to get some type of nerve pills or something.
Either that, or I need to learn how to make margaritas at home.