Slowdown...Who, Me?

I love being at home. I love days when I do not have to get out of my "comfy" clothes. It seems like the past couple of weeks, I have been "going" more than I have been "staying".

It started when my sister had the baby the day before Halloween, and it hasn't stopped yet. Friday was Ryan's birthday, so we went out to dinner. (for the kids birthdays, they get to pick the restaurant) We invited Missy and her gang to join us, and as usual, we had a blast! I didn't even realize we were in the restaurant for over 2 hours! Of course, it was Golden Corral, so between laughs and babies, we were all shoving our faces. It was sooo good, and of course I left with a tummy ache. In fact, i think we all did! lol! Juior's ex-mother-in-law also met us there, and I think she had a good time, too.

Then yesterday, it was up early to get ready for my niece's 3rd birthday party. They live about an hour away, and of course I wanted to go see Lylah first. The party was fun for Brandi...it was a princess party, and all the little girls dressed in princess dresses. They all looked adorable! We didn't stay long after...my mom has a hard time driving that far in the dark...and headed for a little more time with Collen, Carson, and Lylah. After a yummy dinner of Chinese food, we all hung out for a little while, and then I came home and took some cold/allergy medicine and crashed in bed by 9:30.

As soon as I got up this morning, we went fishing for a bit...no bits so we came back home and just chilled. I had a little ache in my back yesterday that turned into severe pain today every time I move, so I have been keeping the heating pad on it. My mom says to ice it, but it's hard to get the ice exactly where I need it.

The next three days are going to be a little busy, too. Tomorrow we have to pick Kasi up from school for a doctor's appointment. I love my doctors...we have been using them for about 10 years now. But, the latest appointment of the day is 4pm, and Kasi gets off the bus later than that every day, so we have to go pick her up early so she can make her 2:30 appointment. I am taking her for her rash, and am hoping we won't need to make a trip to the dermatologist.

Tuesday is the 10th...food shopping day! Then Brandi is in a Veterans Day program at her school. Don't worry...there will be TONS of pictures taken...maybe even a little video, if Ryan can find his video camera.

Wednesday is therapy. That means it will be at least Thursday before I can be lazy all day. Hopefully I can make some money from some posts this week between the craziness...Christmas is coming, and I have presents to buy! lol!

Hello, Blog World

I am sick. I have a nasty cold complete with congestion and runny eyes. I have never had the eye problems before, and it is really annoying. I have spent most of the day drying the tears that continuously run down my face.

Not fun.

We went yesterday and straightened things out with our landlords, so for now we are just waiting for everything else to bounce, and then have the stores get into contact with us.

The good thing is that there is finally a light at the end of this tunnel.

It may take us a few months to get there, but at least we can see it.

That makes a big difference in my stress level.

A Little Update

I now have a new checking account at a different bank, and my son has a new teacher.

So far, today is 50000000 times better than yesterday.

:)

One Of Those Feakin' Days

I swear. Some days I don't know why I get out of bed. Things start off bad, and they just continue to get worse.

Let's start with my son. When this first happened, I promised not to tell anyone, so that meant no blogging about it. But now he doesn't care, so I have permission to vent a little.

Last Wednesday, I got a phone call from his school. It was one of the assistant principals. He said that the day before, Ryan and two other kids were in the hall, and they were playing with a rubber bracelet that Ryan had brought to school. One of the kids...a girl...took the bracelet and wouldn't give it back. Ryan grabbed her arm to get her to give it to him.

Apparently, this is against school policy.

The girl had broken her arm in three places over the summer, had surgery on it, and when Ryan grabbed her, he twisted it, and she ended up in the nurses office. When she went home and told her parents, they wanted the boy who hurt their daughter suspended.

So he was...for one day.

The assistant principal felt really bad, because he watched the video (I had no idea they had cameras in the halls) and saw that the kids were just horsing around, and there was no viciousness in what Ryan did. He was just trying to get his bracelet back. SO when Ryan got home, I asked him what happened, and he said it was during tutoring. His math teacher decided to work on her bulletin board in the hallway instead of tutoring, and the kids were out there fooling around with her. Now, Ryan is pulled out of another class for tutoring, and if he was doing nothing but hanging out in the hallway, he should have stayed in his regular class.

So Ryan stayed home Thursday, and was my slave. He cleaned, did laundry, washed dishes...all my housework. I mean, he needed to be punished for getting suspended, but it wasn't like he beat someone up. He did what we would all do...it was a reflex action almost. But, he needs to learn to control those reflexes, so he was put to work.

He went back to school on Friday, and this teacher pulled him into the hallway for a private chat when he got to her class. She wanted to thank him for getting her in trouble.

That's right. SHE was in the hallway instead of tutoring...SHE let the kids horse around while she just stood there...SHE was more interested in winning some pizza party bulletin contest.

But it's Ryan's fault that she got into trouble when they watched the video. I should mention that this is the teacher who refused to let Ryan go to the nurse/office last year after he got jumped in the hallway. We have had issues before. Luckily, she moved up to 8th grade this year, so Ryan was lucky enough to get her again. Please note the sarcasm in that last sentence.

She also told him that because he was suspended, as much as she wanted to punish him more, she couldn't. However, if they win the pizza party, she will make him sit and watch the other kids eat and not be able to participate.

Seriously, people, WTF?????

So he comes home Friday and tells Junior and I ( and Missy), but there is nothing I could do, until today.

I want him out of her class. That was extremely unprofessional, and just mean, to pull him out of class and blame him for getting into trouble. My belief is that if she was tutoring like she should have been, the kids wouldn't have been in the hall, they wouldn't have been horsing around, and Ryan never would have been suspended. She didn't do this to any of the other kids who were horsing around with him...just him.

So, this morning, I had him go to guidance first thing, and see if there is a class he can switch into without changing his entire schedule. (he is doing soo good this year...I don't want to mess with that too much) He called me and said there was a class, so I called the assistant principal I dealt with last week to get him switched. When I finally got him on the phone and told him what happened, he said "that doesn't sound like her...she is usually very fair with the kids". You know what? I don't care how she usually is...I only care about what she did to my child. He asked if I had spoken to her about this, and I informed him that that was not a good idea, because I was too upset. I explained how this is not the first incident with Ryan, and I just want him switched. He said that he would have to speak to the teacher, and he would call me back. (she was out of school today, so I will hear from him tomorrow) I just don't understand why he couldn't switch him today. I don't care what the teacher says, I want Ryan out of her class, and I will do whatever I have to do to make that happen.

Ug, so that was my morning.

Then, Junior called around 1:30, and he was pissed. Remember me bitching about those check advance places that were giving us a hard time? Well, we have been working with them, and paying a little every two weeks when Junior gets paid, and it's been fine. I was stressed over nothing. But today, when Junior went into the place to make a payment, they told him not to bother because they got their money this morning. It seems they have been calling the bank every morning, and since we deposited Junior's check on Friday, there was money in our account so they took it.

All of it that was in there.

They took our rent payment, which will now bounce.

I wrote a check for groceries, which will now bounce.

In total, we have five checks that will bounce. Junior called our landlords, and made arrangements to bring them some money tomorrow, but now we have to pay a bounced check fee with them, on top of the $34 the bank will charge. We will be charged a $34 fee for every check, and then whatever those places charge when we go to pick those checks up. We tried calling the grocery stores, and they can't do anything until the checks come back to them.

So, I went online today and applied to open a checking account at another bank. I guess because I did it online it takes a few days to process, so they said I should hear something tomorrow or the next day. I don't know why we wouldn't be approved. If we're not, I am screwed, because I need somewhere to transfer my money to that I make online, and the stupid check place told Junior she will take every cent we deposit until they get all of their money, which I think is another $250. How they can do this, I have no idea.

BUT, we did write them two checks, and we do owe them money. I am not debating that. They just refused to work with us, and then screwed us. It is our own fault. I am not blaming anyone but ourselves. We made a huge frickin' mistake, and now I don't know how to get out of this hole. Luckily, we were able to get some money to cover rent, so we will be okay.

We will be okay.

We will be okay.

We will be okay.

Therapy And Weight Loss

I'll tell ya'll about therapy in a sec. First I want to discuss my miraculous weight loss.

I say miraculous because I have no idea how I am still losing weight. Okay, maybe I was clued in a little bit today, and few weeks ago, but still.

Let me explain.

Ever since Junior switched to the 4am work schedule, I have been staying up until 2am every night to get him up and off to work. Then I go to bed, get up at 5:15 to get the kids up and ready for the bus, take them to the bus stop, come back home and try to sleep until about 11:30 on most days. That is what time I set the alarm for, but more times than not, I am up before 10.

A few weeks ago, when we were dealing with all the rental issues, Junior was home for a few days. On those days, he would continuously ask me if I wanted something to eat, and I would say no.

All day.

He asked me if I ever eat, and I told him yeah, I just wasn't hungry that day. Or the few days he was home. Turns out, I was just too busy to eat. When I get up for the day, I get on the computer and do what paid posting I can. This may seem easy to some people, but for me it is difficult sometimes. Not only do i have to do the paid posts, but I have to do interesting posts in between. I will admit that some days, my filler posts suck, but my life is not exciting enough to warrant six posts a day. That is when I talk about television and movies.

Anyway, today Ryan was home from school, and he asked if he could fix me lunch. I told him i wasn't hungry, and that was when it hit me.

On any typical day, I only eat supper.

Then a snack or two while I try to stay up until 2am.

But that's it.

No wonder I am losing weight.

This past month it was only about 3 pounds, I think, bringing my total to 35 pounds lost. Not too bad for not trying. I have clothes that I am wearing that haven't fit in years, so I can definitely tell I'm losing. People have also been commenting on it, which is nice.

Now if I could just lose about 50 more....

Junior and I went to therapy yesterday. We switched days because I was going to apply for that candle job, but that didn't work out. We met with Cindy, and the first thing she did was tell us what happened with Bob.

Poor Bob.

He didn't feel like he did anything unprofessional, and felt ambushed when Cindy spoke to him about things in front of their supervisor. She said he was mad at her for a while, but he got over it, and things are good between them. She then asked if we would mind if she brought in another student...a young girl just starting out...next session. We said we didn't mind, so it should be interesting.

As far as the session went, we just hashed over things we have discussed in the past. There was one point where Junior pissed me off so bad I almost started crying. I don't remember specifically what we were talking about, but it had something to do with how he used to not care about drinking and fighting and crap, but since having kids he knows he can't do that anymore. Cindy asked what he meant, and he said something about the kids needing him, so he knew he couldn't screw up his life anymore. She asked if the kids weren't in the picture, and it was just him and I, would he have changed...and he said no.

WTF?

He basically said that I wasn't worth staying out of trouble for.

Of course, as soon as he saw me react to that, he said he didn't mean it the way it came out, and that he just meant that he knew I was strong enough to take care of myself, but the kids aren't.

Whatever.

I know deep down he didn't mean it like that, because even before I found out I was pregnant with Ryan, he gave up his old ways, because I told him he had to choose...me or his drinking.

But it still hurt that he said it.

We are getting to the point in therapy where we are looking closer at our relationship, and how we are coping with being free of his family. Honestly, we are doing great. Better than ever. We may not agree on a lot of things, but when it comes to his family, I stand behind his decisions.

It was his choice to walk away.

It was his choice to sever ties.

It was his choice to let go.

It is my choice to support him, whether I agree with him or not.

It's his family...his decisions...and I will stand beside him.

Always.

Procrastination...Not The Best Way To Go

I waited too long, and the candle shop took down the help wanted sign.

Sigh.

Junior wasn't too happy about me going to work anyway, so in a way I guess it's a good thing. Brandi was furious and cried for hours when she found out I was going to apply, so I guess it's for the best.

It's not that Junior doesn't want me to work...he doesn't hold me hostage here...he is just afraid that the kids will lose their medicaid if I go to work...and we can not afford family coverage through his job. I mean, it's bad enough we don't have insurance...the kids NEED it, especially Ryan. Now I just have to hope that there is a page rank increase on one of my blogs.

Higher rank = more money.

Junior also fears having to deal with homework and supper and showers and all the evening things I would miss if I was working. I have a routine, and it works, but he hates following "orders", so he would do it his own way, and that is where things will go nuts. So for now, I will do my paid posts, and save money where I can.

I touched on this on my other blog, but it is something that is really on my mind right now.

Christmas.

I am trying not to get stressed out, because I know we always find a way to get the kids what they want. It's just that buying for my nieces and nephews is going to be tough. My sisters always spend more on my kids than I do on their kids, and I hate it that this year, I will be lucky to scrape together the money to spend even $5 per kid.

Sad, I know.

Junior is trying to sell some of his fishing rod holders...with my dad's help...and hopefully those will bring in some money. I am trying to see how long we can go without turning on the heat...that right there will save some money.

Even though it is supposed to be in the 30's tonight.

I think it's time to pull on the fuzzy socks.

A Tough Decision

I think I mentioned, a few weeks back, that we lost our therapist at therapy. We ended up with a very nice woman, and a man(Bob), who junior was never really comfortable with.

Over the weeks, Junior never really warmed up to Bob. I was willing to give him a chance, but there were things he has said that kind of made me a little uncomfortable. For instance, a few sessions back, as we were wrapping up the hour, Bob said that he was going through a similar situation with his son that Junior is going through with his dad.

Weird. I didn't think the therapists were supposed to share so much about their personal lives. When Junior and I left, we began wondering what he meant. Was he acting like Junior's dad, and being toxic towards his son? Was his son treating him like Junior's dad does him? I was unsettled thinking about it, and told Junior that given the chance, I was going to ask Bob what he meant.

Next session, Bob starts telling us about his car problems. For 30 minutes of our 50 minute session, Cindy (our female therapist) and I just stared off into space while Bob and Junior talked cars. Cindy tried several times to steer the conversation back to Junior's issues, but Bob always ends up talking about himself.

At the end of every session, Cindy always asks if there is anything else we want to say before we end for the week, and I asked Bob about his comment the session before. He started saying how his son is a deadbeat, and can't keep a job, and how his wife is a drug addict, and they are raising his child...and then he pulled out his wallet and started showing us pictures.

Now, his situation is NOTHING like what junior is going through, and I found it extremely unprofessional that he shared so much about himself, and PICTURES! When we left, Junior and I both thought that maybe we should say something to Nancy next time we saw her.

This brings us to today.

Cindy came into the waiting room, and asked if it would be okay if we started our session with Bob because she had to take an emergency phone call, and she would join us in a few minutes. What could we say? So off we go with Bob, and he starts by asking how our last two weeks have been.

Fine. No stress with Junior's family, which has been nice. Then Junior brings up the incident with Ryan getting pushed at school. I won't go into all the details, but Bob ended up telling us how when he was a kid, he was fat, and the kids picked on him, so one day he turned around and punched a kid in the face and then sat on him. This was supposed to make us see that Ryan shouldn't fight back.

Okay, first off, Junior brought up the incident because we disagreed on how Junior handled the situation with the vice principal. I thought what he said to Ryan in front of her was inappropriate, and should have been discussed in private. We were not looking for advice on how to raise our son, and we certainly didn't need to know about Bob's childhood. Again, I found it a little strange that instead of counseling us, he was comparing us to him. That's not what therapists do.

When Cindy walked into the room a few minutes later, she tried to pick up on what we were talking about, but she couldn't follow. So while explaining, it to her, Bob made a comment about Junior being to old and ugly to live like he used to.

WTF?

That was kind of the last straw. I knew Junior was upset, and I think Bob did too, because a few minutes later, he excused himself from the room. Cindy asked if we would excuse her, too, because she had something to tell Bob.

As soon as they were out of the room, Junior looked at me, and was furious. There were other things Bob said that upset Junior, but I don't want to say here because I still think some of his family are being sneaky and reading this. He started to say something when Cindy came back in, and totally shocked us by what she said.

She started by saying that she had too many clients, and that she was trying to find a few who wouldn't mind switching therapist. She asked us if we would like for Bob to become our only therapist, since he has been sitting in on our sessions, and knew us.

Um, no. She said okay, that she would continue to be our therapist.

Then we asked her if Bob could not meet with us anymore.

She asked why, so we told her everything I just told you guys, plus some.

The funny thing was, she said that she had also picked up on everything we said, but she thought it was just her. She said she would bring it up to their supervisor so that he could talk to Bob privately, and let him know what he needs to improve upon.

I feel really bed, because I know these therapists are students, and that they are learning. I don't want to hurt Bob's feelings, but I also want Junior to be comfortable with his therapist, or he will not want to go.

I believe he still needs to go. He is doing wonderfully, and I want him to continue down that path. I think talking to the therapist helps him to deal with things.

So for now, we will continue to see only Cindy. I also asked that she switch our session from Thursday to Wednesday, so that if I decide to apply for that candle job, I can be available on Thursdays.

See what happens when I wait so long to post over here? I have too much to say! lol!