Monday, December 21, 2009

Four Days

I can not believe it's four days until Christmas. I am getting excited, though, because we have been able to get the kids (mostly) what they asked for. Sometimes angels come out of nowhere and provide you with what you need, and today we experienced just that. I wrote this on my other blog, about how Junior found a visa gift card in his locker for our kids from "santa". With that I was able to get Kasi the backpack purse she wanted (which cost almost $30...which we didn't have) and I also bought Ryan a new psp game. Not a used one, a new one. Tomorrow I plan on getting Brandi the Wizards movie she wants (which is $20), and then they all have at least something specific that they asked for. They have other things, too, so it's going to be a great Christmas.

Junior and I have always tried to give to others, even though we don't have much ourselves. There have been times when Junior has fixed a strangers car for nothing, or helped a friend when they really needed it. We are always feeding friends who need it, and I am more than willing to provide free childcare for my friends when they need it. I am a big believer in "you get what you give". Getting that visa card today has made me look forward to being able to do something nice for someone else. It may not be tomorrow, or next week, but once we are back on our feet after the move, I am making it my mission to "pay it forward". I feel so blessed, and I want someone else to know this feeling, too.

We are going to my sisters for Christmas, and I am looking forward to spending time with Carson and Lylah. Carson is at that age where everything about Christmas is exciting, and new, and I am looking forward to watching him open his gifts. We are going to my dads on Christmas Eve, and they will be there, too. I love that I get to spend so much time with my sister and her kids...I wish I saw my other sisters as often, too, but they live so far away. I know I am lucky that my family is so close. So many people dreading the holidays, and having to spend time with their families. Junior used to be one of those people. I am so happy he has been able to fit right in with my family, well, at least with some of them. I still get the feeling that certain members of my family aren't too fond of him, but I think that is because they have never taken the time to get to know him. Those who know him, know that he has the biggest heart, and that he would do anything for anyone. Sure, he is a little rough around the edges, but that's what I love about him.

I was also thinking of doing the "end of the year...year in review post", but to be honest, I don't want to relive this past year. It was a tough one, and should be left where it the past. I don't need to be reminded of our financial issues, therapy, breakdowns, living in a crappy apartment that is falling in on us, or any of that. I just want to look forward to 2010, and make it the best year we've had in a while.

Not too much to ask, right?

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Six Weeks Later...

We finally made it back to therapy yesterday. Things went well...they dug a little deeper, and brought up some things Junior doesn't like to talk about, and call it progress. I guess in a way it is, but I hate seeing him so upset.

I say they because we have a new therapist, again. When we were turned over to Cindy way back when, she said she would only be with us until December. Yesterday she brought in a new student, Elizabeth, who will be taking us over. I like her...Junior isn't too sure yet. She's young, and seems to have a different approach to things, and I think that is what is helping Junior the most. Every new therapist has a different way of bringing things out of him, and if yesterday was any indication of what the next six months will hold, I think we are finally heading towards "revelation".

It's weird, but every therapist praises us on our relationship, which to me is just normal. It's just us. It's nothing out of the ordinary. It's just us supporting each other, no matter what.

I guess in this day and age that is a rare thing to find.

And that is pretty sad.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Therapy, Moving Mom, and Swimming

Therapy Wednesday...the first time in six weeks.

The funny thing is, nothing has happened that is worth talking about.

And that is a really good thing. The only bad thing is that Junior sees this as a reason to quit going. I think that's a bad idea. I know nothing has happened lately, but he still hasn't gotten to the bottom of all his issues, and I think he needs to before he stops.

Besides, I am sure it is only a matter of time before his dad shows back up at his work. Just today Ryan was outside with him, and they saw his dad drive by our house really slow, checking things out. He thinks he's slick because he bought a new vehicle. What he forgets is that my kids bus goes by his house every day, and they are not stupid kids. They told Junior the day the new van showed up. I really don't care, but this bothers Junior that he is driving by again.

I personally think the man needs to get a life. He should be focusing on the two kids who still speak to him, and leave us the hell alone.

Just my opinion.

Anyway, I can not believe Christmas is only three weeks away. Talk about stress! Junior gets paid next week, and we have to shop for all the kids out of that. I am hoping to put off a few bills, but there are some that need to be paid. I have accepted the fact that the kids will be disappointed, but I know my mom is getting them the big things they asked for, so I know they will be happy about that. Somehow Brandi talked her into getting her a hamster, which we all know will become my responsibility. It's a good thing I have experience in this area.

My mom is moving this weekend, which should be fun. It looks like it will be my brother, Ryan and I doing all the work. Colleen can't help because she had surgery recently, and isn't fully healed. Junior has a transmission he already agreed to fix for a coworkers daughter, and Mike has to work. But, I am sure we will get it all done, and mom can start settling in to her new place. Did I mention it has an in ground pool? I will be over there all the time this summer. I love swimming, and it's been a long time since I have been in a "real" pool. Now to focus on losing some weight before wearing a bathing suit in public.

I guess that's about all for this rambling session. I know I keep promising to do better over here, but it's hard. For a stay at home mom I am so busy these days. I have a hard time finding the time to do anything. Hopefully once the new year is here, I can slow down a little.

Maybe then I won't have so many migraines.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Hello, Hello, Hello

What a great week last week was! I was so busy, and it was so worth it. I got to hang out with family and great friends, and for the most part, I enjoyed every second of it.

I say for the most part, because of course there were moments when I wished the kids were in school and I could find a moment for myself. In an apartment this small, no one has any privacy. Sometimes it can be extremely frustrating. Some days, the only quiet I find is taking a shower.

I can not wait until we move.

We got all the Christmas decorations put up and the tree is assembled. It has lights on it, but no ornaments. The girls are going to do that when they get home from school. Ryan has no interest, which I kind of expected. Junior was going to "make" him participate, but I talked him out of it. He's a 14 year old boy, and this behavior is to be expected, right? I know in a few years he will start wanting to do things as a family again, and I can wait. I don't want to pressure him to do something just to say he did it, you know what I mean?

I found out over the weekend that I am going to be an aunt to another niece, which is awesome. I found out by reading an update on facebook, which kind of hurt my feelings, but whatever. Some things are not worth getting upset about, and as long as the baby is healthy, (which she is) that is all that matters. Now I get to make three little girls name signs, which I am excited to do! I love making girl things.

I finally figured out what all my nieces and nephews are getting for Christmas this year, and it cost me a total of about $8 for all 12. Amazing, right? Thanksgiving night I was sitting, figuring up what bills I could pay with Juniors check Friday, and it dawned on me that he will only get one more paycheck before Christmas. Talk about your heart stopping! I am no where near finished shopping for my kids, and the thought of spending money on anyone else is out of the question. Luckily, inspiration struck when I found something on sale Black friday at Michael's. It's not much, but I believe in the "it's the thought that counts" philosophy, and I did put a lot of time into the gifts, so that's gotta count for something, right? I will post pictures of the ones I made for my kids on my craft blog soon.

I am also planning Brandi's birthday party, and thankfully I planned it so that it is after food stamps kick in for this month. She wants to invite kids from school, but with her being my 3rd kid, I know that kids this age don't come. It wasn't until about 5th grade that Ryan and Kasi has friends come to their parties, and I don't want her to be disappointed. Besides, my house is way to small.

She wants a "wizards of waverly place" party...this kid can't be easy! lol! My mom is in charge of the cake, and since she has no idea what "wizards" are, it should be interesting to see what she comes up with.

Let's see....what else has been going on???

Oh, I lost another 3 pounds. I know, it's crazy. I was totally expecting to see a gain on Saturday morning when I finally got up the nerve to get on the scale, and it showed a loss. I was shocked. I didn't exactly eat well last week, but thinking back, the days we ate badly, I ate badly one meal, and that was pretty much the only time I ate that whole day. Maybe that had something to do with it. I am pretty much convinced that there is something going on with me...maybe blood sugar issues...causing me to lose weight, but I have yet to muster up the courage to google "unexplained weight loss". I really don't want to freak myself out.

I guess that's about it. This week should be quiet, and hopefully I will get the house cleaned and some opps done. Fingers crossed! lol!

Monday, November 23, 2009

Neglected, Once Again

I don't know why I forget to write over here.

Life has been busy lately. I have a feeling it's just going to get busier with the upcoming holidays. Over the weekend, Brandi put up the Christmas decorations around the house. She did a pretty good job, too. We still have to put up the tree, and for the first time in a really long time, I am not looking forward to it. I think it's because I hate where we live, and it's hard to be festive when the paint is peeling off the ceilings and you are constantly removing slugs from the kitchen floor.

But, this weekend, we will put it up, and it will be beautiful. Brandi's birthday is next Friday, Kasi has several chorus concerts coming up, we still haven't really Christmas shopped for the kids, I have baking to do for tomorrow and Thursday...I am just completely overwhelmed, but in a good way. The busier I am, the faster the next three months will go, and the faster we will get out of this hell hole.

Deep breath.

I have been doing good. I got to see New Moon last Friday with Missy, and we had a blast. the movie was awesome, and I spent the day with no kids, which NEVER happens. It was wonderful. I am still holding steady at 35 pounds lost, and am hoping to make it through the holidays without weight gain. I really want to lose some more weight, and know that I will have to work for it. Losing what I have because of stress was not healthy, and I want to do this the right way. I am still feeling good about myself, which is new for me.

Junior and I missed last therapy session, and will have to cancel this Wednesday, too. Kasi has to go back to the dermatologist to get her stitches out, and hopefully the toxicology report will be back so we can find out what she has growing back there. The ointment that I have been rubbing in twice a day seems to be helping, but she still has a ways to go before it is all gone. I miss talking to Cindy, and we were supposed to have that new therapist sit in, too. Hopefully we can schedule something for next week instead of having to wait for another two.

Things have been quiet around drama, which is wonderful. The kids are happy, Junior and I are great, as always. It's so nice to not have any negativity in our lives. It really does make a difference when you surround yourself with people who lift you up, instead of people who constantly tear you down.

On that note, I am going to finish cooking my pancakes in cafe world.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Slowdown...Who, Me?

I love being at home. I love days when I do not have to get out of my "comfy" clothes. It seems like the past couple of weeks, I have been "going" more than I have been "staying".

It started when my sister had the baby the day before Halloween, and it hasn't stopped yet. Friday was Ryan's birthday, so we went out to dinner. (for the kids birthdays, they get to pick the restaurant) We invited Missy and her gang to join us, and as usual, we had a blast! I didn't even realize we were in the restaurant for over 2 hours! Of course, it was Golden Corral, so between laughs and babies, we were all shoving our faces. It was sooo good, and of course I left with a tummy ache. In fact, i think we all did! lol! Juior's ex-mother-in-law also met us there, and I think she had a good time, too.

Then yesterday, it was up early to get ready for my niece's 3rd birthday party. They live about an hour away, and of course I wanted to go see Lylah first. The party was fun for was a princess party, and all the little girls dressed in princess dresses. They all looked adorable! We didn't stay long mom has a hard time driving that far in the dark...and headed for a little more time with Collen, Carson, and Lylah. After a yummy dinner of Chinese food, we all hung out for a little while, and then I came home and took some cold/allergy medicine and crashed in bed by 9:30.

As soon as I got up this morning, we went fishing for a bits so we came back home and just chilled. I had a little ache in my back yesterday that turned into severe pain today every time I move, so I have been keeping the heating pad on it. My mom says to ice it, but it's hard to get the ice exactly where I need it.

The next three days are going to be a little busy, too. Tomorrow we have to pick Kasi up from school for a doctor's appointment. I love my doctors...we have been using them for about 10 years now. But, the latest appointment of the day is 4pm, and Kasi gets off the bus later than that every day, so we have to go pick her up early so she can make her 2:30 appointment. I am taking her for her rash, and am hoping we won't need to make a trip to the dermatologist.

Tuesday is the shopping day! Then Brandi is in a Veterans Day program at her school. Don't worry...there will be TONS of pictures taken...maybe even a little video, if Ryan can find his video camera.

Wednesday is therapy. That means it will be at least Thursday before I can be lazy all day. Hopefully I can make some money from some posts this week between the craziness...Christmas is coming, and I have presents to buy! lol!

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Hello, Blog World

I am sick. I have a nasty cold complete with congestion and runny eyes. I have never had the eye problems before, and it is really annoying. I have spent most of the day drying the tears that continuously run down my face.

Not fun.

We went yesterday and straightened things out with our landlords, so for now we are just waiting for everything else to bounce, and then have the stores get into contact with us.

The good thing is that there is finally a light at the end of this tunnel.

It may take us a few months to get there, but at least we can see it.

That makes a big difference in my stress level.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

A Little Update

I now have a new checking account at a different bank, and my son has a new teacher.

So far, today is 50000000 times better than yesterday.


Monday, November 2, 2009

One Of Those Feakin' Days

I swear. Some days I don't know why I get out of bed. Things start off bad, and they just continue to get worse.

Let's start with my son. When this first happened, I promised not to tell anyone, so that meant no blogging about it. But now he doesn't care, so I have permission to vent a little.

Last Wednesday, I got a phone call from his school. It was one of the assistant principals. He said that the day before, Ryan and two other kids were in the hall, and they were playing with a rubber bracelet that Ryan had brought to school. One of the kids...a girl...took the bracelet and wouldn't give it back. Ryan grabbed her arm to get her to give it to him.

Apparently, this is against school policy.

The girl had broken her arm in three places over the summer, had surgery on it, and when Ryan grabbed her, he twisted it, and she ended up in the nurses office. When she went home and told her parents, they wanted the boy who hurt their daughter suspended.

So he was...for one day.

The assistant principal felt really bad, because he watched the video (I had no idea they had cameras in the halls) and saw that the kids were just horsing around, and there was no viciousness in what Ryan did. He was just trying to get his bracelet back. SO when Ryan got home, I asked him what happened, and he said it was during tutoring. His math teacher decided to work on her bulletin board in the hallway instead of tutoring, and the kids were out there fooling around with her. Now, Ryan is pulled out of another class for tutoring, and if he was doing nothing but hanging out in the hallway, he should have stayed in his regular class.

So Ryan stayed home Thursday, and was my slave. He cleaned, did laundry, washed dishes...all my housework. I mean, he needed to be punished for getting suspended, but it wasn't like he beat someone up. He did what we would all was a reflex action almost. But, he needs to learn to control those reflexes, so he was put to work.

He went back to school on Friday, and this teacher pulled him into the hallway for a private chat when he got to her class. She wanted to thank him for getting her in trouble.

That's right. SHE was in the hallway instead of tutoring...SHE let the kids horse around while she just stood there...SHE was more interested in winning some pizza party bulletin contest.

But it's Ryan's fault that she got into trouble when they watched the video. I should mention that this is the teacher who refused to let Ryan go to the nurse/office last year after he got jumped in the hallway. We have had issues before. Luckily, she moved up to 8th grade this year, so Ryan was lucky enough to get her again. Please note the sarcasm in that last sentence.

She also told him that because he was suspended, as much as she wanted to punish him more, she couldn't. However, if they win the pizza party, she will make him sit and watch the other kids eat and not be able to participate.

Seriously, people, WTF?????

So he comes home Friday and tells Junior and I ( and Missy), but there is nothing I could do, until today.

I want him out of her class. That was extremely unprofessional, and just mean, to pull him out of class and blame him for getting into trouble. My belief is that if she was tutoring like she should have been, the kids wouldn't have been in the hall, they wouldn't have been horsing around, and Ryan never would have been suspended. She didn't do this to any of the other kids who were horsing around with him...just him.

So, this morning, I had him go to guidance first thing, and see if there is a class he can switch into without changing his entire schedule. (he is doing soo good this year...I don't want to mess with that too much) He called me and said there was a class, so I called the assistant principal I dealt with last week to get him switched. When I finally got him on the phone and told him what happened, he said "that doesn't sound like her...she is usually very fair with the kids". You know what? I don't care how she usually is...I only care about what she did to my child. He asked if I had spoken to her about this, and I informed him that that was not a good idea, because I was too upset. I explained how this is not the first incident with Ryan, and I just want him switched. He said that he would have to speak to the teacher, and he would call me back. (she was out of school today, so I will hear from him tomorrow) I just don't understand why he couldn't switch him today. I don't care what the teacher says, I want Ryan out of her class, and I will do whatever I have to do to make that happen.

Ug, so that was my morning.

Then, Junior called around 1:30, and he was pissed. Remember me bitching about those check advance places that were giving us a hard time? Well, we have been working with them, and paying a little every two weeks when Junior gets paid, and it's been fine. I was stressed over nothing. But today, when Junior went into the place to make a payment, they told him not to bother because they got their money this morning. It seems they have been calling the bank every morning, and since we deposited Junior's check on Friday, there was money in our account so they took it.

All of it that was in there.

They took our rent payment, which will now bounce.

I wrote a check for groceries, which will now bounce.

In total, we have five checks that will bounce. Junior called our landlords, and made arrangements to bring them some money tomorrow, but now we have to pay a bounced check fee with them, on top of the $34 the bank will charge. We will be charged a $34 fee for every check, and then whatever those places charge when we go to pick those checks up. We tried calling the grocery stores, and they can't do anything until the checks come back to them.

So, I went online today and applied to open a checking account at another bank. I guess because I did it online it takes a few days to process, so they said I should hear something tomorrow or the next day. I don't know why we wouldn't be approved. If we're not, I am screwed, because I need somewhere to transfer my money to that I make online, and the stupid check place told Junior she will take every cent we deposit until they get all of their money, which I think is another $250. How they can do this, I have no idea.

BUT, we did write them two checks, and we do owe them money. I am not debating that. They just refused to work with us, and then screwed us. It is our own fault. I am not blaming anyone but ourselves. We made a huge frickin' mistake, and now I don't know how to get out of this hole. Luckily, we were able to get some money to cover rent, so we will be okay.

We will be okay.

We will be okay.

We will be okay.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Therapy And Weight Loss

I'll tell ya'll about therapy in a sec. First I want to discuss my miraculous weight loss.

I say miraculous because I have no idea how I am still losing weight. Okay, maybe I was clued in a little bit today, and few weeks ago, but still.

Let me explain.

Ever since Junior switched to the 4am work schedule, I have been staying up until 2am every night to get him up and off to work. Then I go to bed, get up at 5:15 to get the kids up and ready for the bus, take them to the bus stop, come back home and try to sleep until about 11:30 on most days. That is what time I set the alarm for, but more times than not, I am up before 10.

A few weeks ago, when we were dealing with all the rental issues, Junior was home for a few days. On those days, he would continuously ask me if I wanted something to eat, and I would say no.

All day.

He asked me if I ever eat, and I told him yeah, I just wasn't hungry that day. Or the few days he was home. Turns out, I was just too busy to eat. When I get up for the day, I get on the computer and do what paid posting I can. This may seem easy to some people, but for me it is difficult sometimes. Not only do i have to do the paid posts, but I have to do interesting posts in between. I will admit that some days, my filler posts suck, but my life is not exciting enough to warrant six posts a day. That is when I talk about television and movies.

Anyway, today Ryan was home from school, and he asked if he could fix me lunch. I told him i wasn't hungry, and that was when it hit me.

On any typical day, I only eat supper.

Then a snack or two while I try to stay up until 2am.

But that's it.

No wonder I am losing weight.

This past month it was only about 3 pounds, I think, bringing my total to 35 pounds lost. Not too bad for not trying. I have clothes that I am wearing that haven't fit in years, so I can definitely tell I'm losing. People have also been commenting on it, which is nice.

Now if I could just lose about 50 more....

Junior and I went to therapy yesterday. We switched days because I was going to apply for that candle job, but that didn't work out. We met with Cindy, and the first thing she did was tell us what happened with Bob.

Poor Bob.

He didn't feel like he did anything unprofessional, and felt ambushed when Cindy spoke to him about things in front of their supervisor. She said he was mad at her for a while, but he got over it, and things are good between them. She then asked if we would mind if she brought in another student...a young girl just starting session. We said we didn't mind, so it should be interesting.

As far as the session went, we just hashed over things we have discussed in the past. There was one point where Junior pissed me off so bad I almost started crying. I don't remember specifically what we were talking about, but it had something to do with how he used to not care about drinking and fighting and crap, but since having kids he knows he can't do that anymore. Cindy asked what he meant, and he said something about the kids needing him, so he knew he couldn't screw up his life anymore. She asked if the kids weren't in the picture, and it was just him and I, would he have changed...and he said no.


He basically said that I wasn't worth staying out of trouble for.

Of course, as soon as he saw me react to that, he said he didn't mean it the way it came out, and that he just meant that he knew I was strong enough to take care of myself, but the kids aren't.


I know deep down he didn't mean it like that, because even before I found out I was pregnant with Ryan, he gave up his old ways, because I told him he had to or his drinking.

But it still hurt that he said it.

We are getting to the point in therapy where we are looking closer at our relationship, and how we are coping with being free of his family. Honestly, we are doing great. Better than ever. We may not agree on a lot of things, but when it comes to his family, I stand behind his decisions.

It was his choice to walk away.

It was his choice to sever ties.

It was his choice to let go.

It is my choice to support him, whether I agree with him or not.

It's his family...his decisions...and I will stand beside him.


Monday, October 19, 2009

Procrastination...Not The Best Way To Go

I waited too long, and the candle shop took down the help wanted sign.


Junior wasn't too happy about me going to work anyway, so in a way I guess it's a good thing. Brandi was furious and cried for hours when she found out I was going to apply, so I guess it's for the best.

It's not that Junior doesn't want me to work...he doesn't hold me hostage here...he is just afraid that the kids will lose their medicaid if I go to work...and we can not afford family coverage through his job. I mean, it's bad enough we don't have insurance...the kids NEED it, especially Ryan. Now I just have to hope that there is a page rank increase on one of my blogs.

Higher rank = more money.

Junior also fears having to deal with homework and supper and showers and all the evening things I would miss if I was working. I have a routine, and it works, but he hates following "orders", so he would do it his own way, and that is where things will go nuts. So for now, I will do my paid posts, and save money where I can.

I touched on this on my other blog, but it is something that is really on my mind right now.


I am trying not to get stressed out, because I know we always find a way to get the kids what they want. It's just that buying for my nieces and nephews is going to be tough. My sisters always spend more on my kids than I do on their kids, and I hate it that this year, I will be lucky to scrape together the money to spend even $5 per kid.

Sad, I know.

Junior is trying to sell some of his fishing rod holders...with my dad's help...and hopefully those will bring in some money. I am trying to see how long we can go without turning on the heat...that right there will save some money.

Even though it is supposed to be in the 30's tonight.

I think it's time to pull on the fuzzy socks.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

A Tough Decision

I think I mentioned, a few weeks back, that we lost our therapist at therapy. We ended up with a very nice woman, and a man(Bob), who junior was never really comfortable with.

Over the weeks, Junior never really warmed up to Bob. I was willing to give him a chance, but there were things he has said that kind of made me a little uncomfortable. For instance, a few sessions back, as we were wrapping up the hour, Bob said that he was going through a similar situation with his son that Junior is going through with his dad.

Weird. I didn't think the therapists were supposed to share so much about their personal lives. When Junior and I left, we began wondering what he meant. Was he acting like Junior's dad, and being toxic towards his son? Was his son treating him like Junior's dad does him? I was unsettled thinking about it, and told Junior that given the chance, I was going to ask Bob what he meant.

Next session, Bob starts telling us about his car problems. For 30 minutes of our 50 minute session, Cindy (our female therapist) and I just stared off into space while Bob and Junior talked cars. Cindy tried several times to steer the conversation back to Junior's issues, but Bob always ends up talking about himself.

At the end of every session, Cindy always asks if there is anything else we want to say before we end for the week, and I asked Bob about his comment the session before. He started saying how his son is a deadbeat, and can't keep a job, and how his wife is a drug addict, and they are raising his child...and then he pulled out his wallet and started showing us pictures.

Now, his situation is NOTHING like what junior is going through, and I found it extremely unprofessional that he shared so much about himself, and PICTURES! When we left, Junior and I both thought that maybe we should say something to Nancy next time we saw her.

This brings us to today.

Cindy came into the waiting room, and asked if it would be okay if we started our session with Bob because she had to take an emergency phone call, and she would join us in a few minutes. What could we say? So off we go with Bob, and he starts by asking how our last two weeks have been.

Fine. No stress with Junior's family, which has been nice. Then Junior brings up the incident with Ryan getting pushed at school. I won't go into all the details, but Bob ended up telling us how when he was a kid, he was fat, and the kids picked on him, so one day he turned around and punched a kid in the face and then sat on him. This was supposed to make us see that Ryan shouldn't fight back.

Okay, first off, Junior brought up the incident because we disagreed on how Junior handled the situation with the vice principal. I thought what he said to Ryan in front of her was inappropriate, and should have been discussed in private. We were not looking for advice on how to raise our son, and we certainly didn't need to know about Bob's childhood. Again, I found it a little strange that instead of counseling us, he was comparing us to him. That's not what therapists do.

When Cindy walked into the room a few minutes later, she tried to pick up on what we were talking about, but she couldn't follow. So while explaining, it to her, Bob made a comment about Junior being to old and ugly to live like he used to.


That was kind of the last straw. I knew Junior was upset, and I think Bob did too, because a few minutes later, he excused himself from the room. Cindy asked if we would excuse her, too, because she had something to tell Bob.

As soon as they were out of the room, Junior looked at me, and was furious. There were other things Bob said that upset Junior, but I don't want to say here because I still think some of his family are being sneaky and reading this. He started to say something when Cindy came back in, and totally shocked us by what she said.

She started by saying that she had too many clients, and that she was trying to find a few who wouldn't mind switching therapist. She asked us if we would like for Bob to become our only therapist, since he has been sitting in on our sessions, and knew us.

Um, no. She said okay, that she would continue to be our therapist.

Then we asked her if Bob could not meet with us anymore.

She asked why, so we told her everything I just told you guys, plus some.

The funny thing was, she said that she had also picked up on everything we said, but she thought it was just her. She said she would bring it up to their supervisor so that he could talk to Bob privately, and let him know what he needs to improve upon.

I feel really bed, because I know these therapists are students, and that they are learning. I don't want to hurt Bob's feelings, but I also want Junior to be comfortable with his therapist, or he will not want to go.

I believe he still needs to go. He is doing wonderfully, and I want him to continue down that path. I think talking to the therapist helps him to deal with things.

So for now, we will continue to see only Cindy. I also asked that she switch our session from Thursday to Wednesday, so that if I decide to apply for that candle job, I can be available on Thursdays.

See what happens when I wait so long to post over here? I have too much to say! lol!

Thursday, October 8, 2009

I Need To Do This More Often

I keep forgetting to update this blog. It's not my main blog, and it gets little traffic, and I mostly use it to write about myself, and since nothing exciting ever happens in my life, I don't write much here.

What have I been up to? Let's see...I still haven't started packing, even though I have 20 or so boxes ready and waiting to be filled. I am hoping to get motivated this weekend, when the kids are home to help. I especially want to do Ryan's room, because his party is next friday, and I want the kids to be able to go in there and not get lost. Yes, it is that messy.

Speaking of Ryan's party...I am still trying to figure out the menu. I want to do chips and finger foods, and I have a few I do every year, but I want something different. I need to look around online to see what I can find. I just need to find the time to do it. My mom called last night, making sure I wanted her to do the cake. She won't tell me what she has planned, but I am sure it will be amazing. I am going to make a few little pumpkin cakes using the pan I bought, too, just to make sure there is enough.

I need to get a grocery list together, too. Our first month back on food stamps kicks in on Saturday, so we are going to get all the party food, and the basic staples we have been doing without. Plus, Food Lion is having an awesome sale on chicken strips, and I use those all the time. Even when I but boneless skinless breasts, I always chop them down into strips. Anyway, I want to stock up on those while they are on sale.

I am still looking for work. I am debating walking down to a candle store that is literally a minutes walk from the end of my driveway. They are looking for part time work, and my friend went in to see if she could get the job, but she wasn't available the hours they are looking for. They need someone to work Thursday and Friday, from 10 until 6. They only pay minimum wage, which really doesn't make it worth it. Plus, I need the 16 and 30th of october free, and those are both Fridays. Maybe if the sign is still up in November, I will go look into it more.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

A Mish Mash Of My Day

Junior took today off to deal with some landlord issues...I am so ready to move! we went out and had breakfast at Hardee's. We haven't done this since he started morning shift at work, and it was nice to sit with him, without kids, and have an adult conversation. Not ADULT adult, but just a normal conversation where we talked about Christmas and moving, without little ears around. The one big drawback about our little duplex is that even when the kids are in another room, they can still hear every word we say.

We also went and looked at storage buildings...I wrote about that on my other blog...and when we got home Missy called. We decided to meet up for supper, and I gotta tell you, I had a really good time. This surprised me, because I was on the verge of a panic attack, because the restaurant was sooo busy. But once we were seated, I was okay. I don't know when I got so crazy, either. Those things never used to bother me. Missy's mom came too, and I really enjoy spending time with her, too. If you read Missy's blog, you know how great her sense of humor is. Well, she gets it from her mom, and the two of them together is hysterical. We are all going to go trick or treating together, and I am really looking forward to it!

Junior and I also went to therapy today. It was a good session, where we basically discussed how much improvement Junior has shown in the past year, and deciding what we still have to work on to get him where he needs to be. I think he is well on his way, and his therapist(s) agree. I am so proud of him.

I was proud of myself the other day when we went to Burger King with Brandi, and I was able to sit in a booth. I may have mentioned this before, I don't remember, but I never used to be able to fit in the booths at fast food places. It's nice that I can now.

I guess that's about it. Have a great night!

Friday, September 25, 2009

Sleep, Where Are You?

I am so tired! Junior left work early today, waking me around 9:30. I had just laid back down! I am extremely happy that tomorrow is Saturday, and I do not have to get up to an alarm. I will enjoy sleeping in, and will kill anyone who disturbs my sleep.

Okay, maybe I won't KILL them, but I can make their day miserable. I am the mom, ya know!

I have been crocheting like a madwoman, trying to get a few things done. I have also been working on a Halloween header for my main blog, and I am dying to put it up...but I will wait until Oct.1st. Hopefully :)

I also finished Ryan's birthday invitations, and they came out really good, if I do say so myself. I am looking forward to his party, and hanging out with friends and family. I want to find some new recipes for this year, so any ideas for Halloween themed foods is greatly appreciated.

Junior and I were discussing what we're going to get the kids for Christmas at lunch today, and it's going to be hard this year. Not only financially, but the kids haven't really asked for anything. Brandi wants a couple of movies...Camp Rock and Princess Protection Program...and that's easy enough. I want to get Ryan a television for his room...his is broken...and the girls will need one for their room when we move, so maybe I will get them a joint gift. Or maybe I will just wait til we get our taxes and buy them. I don't know.

I'm still holding steady with the weight loss. I haven't lost any more weight, but I haven't gained any back, either. Thankfully my life is more stress free every day, so now I need to make a conscience effort to lose. I am liking how I'm feeling these days, so I have faith I can continue down this path.

I guess that's about it for now. Have a great weekend! Ours will be low key, and I'm looking forward to it.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Hidden Surprise

I was talking to our neighbor, Paige, this afternoon, you know, the one who I fought with over her stupid dog. The past few months she has been as nice as can be, acting as if nothing ever happened between us.


Anyway, we were talking today, and I asked when they were moving, because they just bought a house. She said hopefully in the next four weeks. We got to talking about what happened here yesterday with the phone guy, and she was telling me how she has had mice in her kitchen. She said every night they can hear them running around in the kitchen, and every morning the traps are full.


Thank goodness I have the cats, who kill the mice before they can get into my side. She said a few days ago, she came home, and heard something in the cabinet, and assumed it was another mouse. (she is using sticky traps instead of the snap kind) When she opened the cabinet, she found a snake stuck on the trap! Can you imagine?

I know there are snakes around here, because we have caught a few in the minnow trap in the creek, but I didn't know they were coming up to the house. She said Josh (her boyfriend) said the snake was probably after the mice, but still. Kind of makes me a little weary.

Have I mentioned that I can not wait to move?

I asked how the mice and snake got in, and she said her kitchen sink leaks underneath, and it has rotted holes in the boards. She said when she mentioned it to our management company, they said it was something they could live with, so they weren't going to fix it. How crappy is that? I am so glad Junior fixed our plumbing problem, because I have a feeling the management company wouldn't have cared about that, either. Paige said they can not wait to get out.

Neither can we.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

My Phone Problem Was Actually A Plumbing Problem

I was expecting the phone guy between 1 and 3 this afternoon. At 10 til 3, the guy still hadn't shown up. I called Charter, and asked if there was a delay. The guy on the phone looked on his computer, and said the technician had marked my order completed.


I told him I had been here all afternoon, with my door open, and he never showed up. The guy said he would call the technician and see what was going on, and call me back. HELLO! My whole issue is that I can not receive incoming calls. I tell him this, and he tells me he'll just put me on hold.

Five minutes later he comes back and says the guy says he knocked on the CLOSED door, and left a tag on the handle. He asked if I lived in a gray duplex. I said yes, then told him to hold on while I went to see if maybe the guy went next door.


The guy on the phone tells me to hold on again. Another five minutes and he comes back, saying the technician admitted that he wasn't sure he was at the right place, so they would sent someone else out before 5. He told me that they usually don't send someone else the same day, but because the technician admitted fault, they would.

Well, wasn't that nice of them.

The other technician shows up, and after almost an hour discovers what the problem was. The cordless phone in my bedroom is plugged into a jack that was at the head of my bed. (well, to me it's the foot because I sleep upside down on the bed...I always have...I know I'm's okay...I own it) The jack had a filter on it from the three days we had DSL when we first moved in, and that filter was laying on the carpet. The carpet was soaking wet, which made the filter soaking wet, which was shorting out my phone line.

Why was it wet, you ask? Because this apartment is a piece of shit.

The duplex was build on a slab. The bathtub is on a step up, with all the plumbing underneath. It seems the pipe that drains the tub came undone, and was leaking underneath. The water went through the wall, into my bedroom, under my bed, so I never noticed. This has been going on for almost two weeks! You can imagine the mess I had to clean up. The carpet is soaked, and I'm hoping it is just in that one area. Junior spent tonight fixing the tub (God knows how long the management company would have taken to tub still leaks and it has been over a year!) and I have to clean out from under my bed in the morning. It looks like the water is just in the one area, so hopefully nothing is ruined.

I am just glad I have my phone back, and I can't wait to move.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Total Random Post About Everything And Nothing, All At The Same Time

My phone has been broken for over a week now, and I really haven't noticed.

That's pretty sad if you think about it.

I can call out fine, but when someone calls me, all they get is static, and my phone never rings. If they are lucky, they can leave a message. It took a few days before I even knew that was happening.

You see, no one, other than family, ever calls me.

Except Missy.

Kinda sad, right?

I guess it's a good thing I really don't like talking on the phone.

I broke down today and called to have the line fixed, because my sister is having a baby on friday, and I want to make sure I get "the call" when baby Jake is here safe and sound.

They are coming tomorrow between 1 and 3. I hate when I am the only one home for repair men, but what can you do? Hopefully it is something they can fix without coming in the house.

In other "news", I am holding steady at 30 pounds lost. I told my mom yesterday I was a little worried that maybe there was something wrong with me, because I have lost this weight pretty much without trying. Sure, we haven't had much food in the house, so I haven't been eating, but I have dieted before and never had these kinds of results.

All the check places have tried to deposit the checks, and we have been paying bounced check fees for a couple of weeks now. I believe the last of the fees were paid with the money I deposited this morning from my paid posts, so hopefully we can keep our account out of the hole. The check places are now calling, trying to work with us. Why they couldn't do this before, I have no idea. Junior is going to go talk to them all on Friday, and hopefully be able to make some sort of reasonable payment arrangements. Fingers crossed.

I am getting so excited about moving, and a little nervous at the same time. I think most of my anxiety is going to be about finding the right place. I know tons of places check your credit these days, and ours isn't so good. I hope we can find a three bedroom that is not a dump. I am tired of living in a place that is falling apart.

Junior is going tomorrow to apply us for food stamps again. We used to get them, and could really use them right now until we get things straightened out. I used an online calculator, and we should get about $175 a month, which will help a lot, although I have gotten really good at buying a weeks worth of groceries for about $40 a week. We plan on doing the parking lot sale again this weekend, and that will help a lot too.

My legs are killing me today from all the walking at the zoo yesterday. I really need to make it a point not to sit so long at this computer every day. Hopefully when we move I can start walking again. The roads around here just aren't safe enough.

I guess that's about it. I really should get up and go clean the bathroom, but I probably won't. It will still be there in the morning.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009


I am down 30 pounds!!!! Holy crap!!!!!

The sad thing is, I am not even trying. It's the lack of food in the house, and stress.

Who thought having no money would have a bright side?

I put on jeans today that I haven't worn in years!

On another note, Junior and I decided today that we are going to move in February. I am tired of the roof leaking, my bathtub faucet continuously running, and here's the straw that broke the camels back.

Remember when we asked about putting up the pool, and they said sure, but we would have to pay the difference in the water bill? Well, they charged us $40 to fill a 12 foot pool a foot and a half deep. There is no way in hell it took that much water. I told Junior he should have questioned it, and asked to see the bill, but he said it is easier just to pay it.

Whatever. We went today, and found the cutest 3 bedroom trailer. I wish we never resigned the lease. I wish we could move today. But, we are stuck here until February. I will not break our lease. Plus, we will have more money in February to move. It is a priority this time that we find something with three bedrooms, even if it is a trailer. They do have some nice ones nowadays.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

More Applications

I am going to spend tomorrow trying to find a part time job. I did this a few months ago, and never got a single phone call. I am hoping for better luck this time.

We are struggling just like a lot of people right now, and I am trying not to let it get me down. Life is sometimes like a snowball...we get behind on one thing, and's late fees and NSF fees and overdraft fees...and then there is no money left to pay the bills. It sucks, and I can't see a way out right now, which is why I need to find a job, which is a lot easier said than done.

I wish Junior was working third shift again, then I could work during the day. But his job no longer offers third shift. I wish I could go back to making more money from home, but google is what it is, and I am patiently awaiting the next update.

If I can't find a job, the first things to go will be my internet and cable. I don't want to do that, but that is the only monthly bill we can get rid of. We have to make our car payment. We have to have power. We have to have car insurance. We have to pay rent. We don't HAVE TO have cable and internet, but it's the only luxury we allow ourselves. If we get rid of it, we have nothing, and that would suck even more.

Ug, this sounds like another pity party for me, but in reality, it helps me to feel better to write. To get things off my chest.

I feel better already.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Therapy On Thursday

We went to therapy today. It's the first time we have been with the new therapists.

Did you catch that?

I said therapists. We have two.

One is the lady we met last session, whose name is Cindy. And then we have a man, whose name I can not remember. We spent the hour going over the past year, and filling these two therapists in on Junior's issues with his family. Not a productive hour, but it allowed the therapists to get an idea of the things Junior has been through. I know it is hard for him to talk about some of those things, so he wasn't in a very good place when we left. But, we stopped for the last of our free shakes from Zaxby's on the way home, and chocolate always helps when you're feeling blue.

Junior still isn't sure how he feels about the therapists. I like Cindy, but I'm not sure about the man. He seemed kind of, oh, I don't know what word I am looking for. Maybe it's just me, because I feel more comfortable with a woman. I don't know. Hopefully next session will be a little more comfortable for everyone.

My mom came over for supper tonight. She didn't stay too long, but we enjoyed having her eat with us. I just served the second tray of chicken pot pie I made yesterday with some mac and cheese. I am on this cooking kick lately. Maybe it's the fact that we have limited funds right now, and I have no choice but to be creative with what I make.

I lost another pound...I'm down 26! Yay! I haven't told Junior, and he hasn't noticed, which kind of sucks, but I guess because he sees me every day it's hard for him to tell. He is also losing weight...I think he is down 12 pounds...and I don't want to discourage him by losing more. I know it usually pisses me off when he loses more than me. So for now, I will keep quiet, and try and lose more.

I have a busy weekend ahead...plans with Missy to go "parking lot shopping" on Saturday morning. From what I understand, this particular grocery store puts all it's "almost out of date" food in the parking lot, and you pay $7 to fill a box with whatever you can. When I called for the details yesterday, they said it's a kind of free for all, and that everyone goes at the same time, so it's a mad house. Sounds like fun, right? LOL! I am really looking forward to it. They also said to bring a partner, so Ryan and I will work together. This is at 9am. Then I am going with my mom to Rock Hill for a birthday party at 1. Ryan is staying with Junior, and I will take the girls with me.

Monday we are planning a trip to the zoo. It's been a while since we have been to this zoo, so I am looking forward to it. Plus, I get to see elephants, and you all know how much I love that!

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Yard Sale Failure

Junior's ex mother-in-law, Jean, asked me last week to do a yard sale with her this morning. Even though I had nothing to sell, I agreed to help her out. Junior got together a few old power tools, and I brought all of my signs, you know, the "welcome" and "keys" signs that I make?

We spoke to her last night, and she asked us to be at her house by 7. Well, I don't do mornings well, so we got there around 8.

She wasn't there.

Since I brought my own table, Junior and I set up, and waited.

And waited.

Not one car stopped all morning.

Jean finally came out of the house around 9, and said she had too much to do, and wouldn't be able to do the yard sale with us.

By 11, we were ready to call it quits.

As we were getting ready to pack up, she came over and asked what we would take for everything we were selling. Junior told her $45 for his stuff, and $40 for my signs.

She bought it all. I wish I had sold my signs individually, I would have made more money, but now she has Christmas gifts for her family, and I have some cash, which is much needed around here. Of course, it is going right to bills, but they were bills we couldn't pay yesterday, so that's good.

It just sucks having no "play" money, although I did spend a little of my paid posting money to get Kasi a Christmas gift for all of $4.

I wish it was February...we really need that tax refund right now.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Can This Be Right?

I got on the scale this morning, and was convinced it was broken.

Since Kasi was weighed at the doctors office two weeks ago, I knew what she would weigh, so I had her get on the scale when she got home.

My scale says she is four pounds heavier than the doctors scale.

Okay, so my scale is off, but in the wrong direction.

I thought it was weighing lighter, not heavier.

So, according to my scale, not the doctors, I have lost about 25 pounds, give or take a few ounces.

I guess there is a good side to stress and not having money to have junk food in the house. Since it's not here, I don't eat it, and apparently, that was a big issue for me.

I hope this trend continues....

Tuesday, August 25, 2009


How's that for a title?

So, it's Tuesday. We still don't have a solution to our monetary problem, and the check places refuse to work with us right now. They are going to try and cash the checks, and then get into contact with us. That means about $100 in NSF fees, but what can we do?

It is what it is.

Free milkshakes from Zaxby's helped today. We have been so broke, eating out has not been an option, so going to a restaurant, even though it was just for milkshakes, was fun. The first one we went to, we waited about 45 minutes for them to tell us they ran out of shakes, so they gave us coupons for free shakes. As we were leaving, Ryan ran up to the counter and asked for his coupons, and got three more free coupons, and two strawberry shakes.

I really wanted my shake, so we went to another Zaxby's, and saw that they had signs on the doors saying they were out of shakes, too. We went in anyway, figuring we would get more coupons, but when we went to the register, the cashier said they did have shakes. Seems kind of wrong to put up signs saying you don't when you do, but whatever. In the end, we all ended up with our chocolate shakes, and I have 8 coupons for free shakes.

On another note, Junior and I got the kids back on their medicaid...thanks God...and we are going to reapply for food stamps. I used the online calculator, and it says we should get about $185 a month, which isn't too much, but will definitely help out a bunch. I also got the letter saying they qualified for free breakfast/lunch...have I mentioned that already???...which is a huge burden lifted. I am also going to reapply online for some jobs, but am not very hopeful. My friend Nicole has been looking for months, and says no one is hiring, not even minimum wage jobs.

I guess we will just continue to take it one day at a time, and see what happens.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

All Cried Out

We went fishing this morning with my mom. I was so on edge, ready to break down at any moment, and after about five minutes in my moms car, I lost it. I think she asked if Junior was in a bad mood, and I just started bawling.

Then I spent most of the rest of the day crying.

But, I feel better being able to talk things over with my mom. She offered to try and help us, but I can't let her. She has enough going on right now, she doesn't need to worry about my problems. That was why I didn't want her to know in the first place.

I am still not sure what tomorrow will bring.

I still don't know how we are going to get through this.

But I know we WILL get through it.

And I KNOW that I have so many things to be thankful for, because there are so many people who have less than we do.

I am blessed to have family, and friends, who listen and offer words of wisdom.

I have my health, and my kids are healthy, and Junior is healthy, and employed.

I am contributing, and there should be a google update soon, and hopefully I will make more money after that...I have my fingers crossed for 3's on my blogs...not this one, though. This is where I vent, and I don't network this one like I do the others.

I know there is a brighter day on the horizon...I just need to get there.

Less Stressed

If you happened to have visited last night or early this morning, you got to read a post I wrote that, looking at this morning, was too"woe is me" and whiny, so I took it down. I felt like sharing my current situation sounded like I was asking for money, and that was totally not my intention. I was just really down, and needed to get things off my chest, and because my sisters don't really understand money issues, and would think I was asking for money, I don't talk to them. It was nice, though, to vent a little.

That's what this blog is all about.

Oh, and thanks to Sabrina and Miss Donna for their kind words...I love you guys!

Thursday, August 20, 2009


I have been looking forward to the kids starting school for a few weeks now, but now that they have, I don't know what to do with myself. Sure, I have my housework, but in an apartment this small, it doesn't take very long to get everything done. The quiet was nice the first day, but now I kind of miss the chaos.

I need to get over myself and find something to do.

I sit here at the computer a good part of the day, waiting for opps and stuff, but that gets boring really quickly. I was going to make some meatballs today to freeze for later use (I got a huge things of meat on sale yesterday) but I don't have breadcrumbs. Hopefully I will still be motivated to do that tomorrow...if I can talk Junior into going out later for some breadcrumbs. I made a turkey a couple of days ago, so we have been eating the leftovers of that. Last night, Kasi sat and pulled the meat apart, then I simmered it with barbecue tasted just like a pulled pork sandwich, but better for you, since it was turkey breast. Man, my mouth is watering just thinking about it.

I have been trying to come up with cheap meals, since we are low on grocery money. (we're low on ALL money, but that's another post) It's expensive feeding a family of 5. Luckily, according to the paperwork we filled out, the kids should qualify for free lunch. That will be a big relief.

Remember a few months ago I applied online for a job? I never heard from ANYONE! I can not believe that the grocery stores aren't even hiring. Even fast food places are getting more applications than they know what to do with. I could probably go back to McDonald's, but I just can't do it. I didn't exactly leave on good terms, and the store I worked at, and the store closest to me have the same owners. I don't want to come off sounding racist, but both stores now have more Mexican workers than white workers, and all the do is speak Spanish to each other. I wouldn't even understand them! I have my fingers crossed that when the next google update happens, I will get my pr3 back, so I can make better money online, so I can continue to work from home. It would be hard for the kids if I wasn't here in the evenings. Junior can do a lot of things, but homework help and baths are kind of my territory. I don't think he would have the patience for it. (I don't bathe the kids myself anymore...that would be weird...but I do have to have some type of schedule to get everyone done...and Junior isn't a schedule kind of guy...and I would probably end up with stinky kids who hadn't bathed in weeks)

Anyway, I am getting excited about all my new nieces or nephews who are going to be born soon. My older sister Tami is scheduled to have Jake on Sept. 18, and I can not wait! I know she is more than ready to have him. Colleen, my youngest sister, should have her little one the end of October...she is due around Ryan's birthday...the beginning of November...but will have a scheduled section, so they will do that a week or so before her due date. My brother and his wife just found out recently that they are having twins...she is due the end of March. I don't think she will make it that far, because she has delivered all four other kids early. That's four babies in the next seven months! I need to get crocheting! lol!

I got the bill the other day from the hospital we took Kasi to when she burned her arm...almost $1000. I think it was around $960. I think that is a little excessive for cleaning a burn and slapping some cream on it. I am hoping once we get them reinstated on their Medicaid, they will cover it. I was told they go back three months, so it shouldn't be a problem. I just hope it doesn't take too long for them to push the paperwork through, because Ryan needs his medicine every month, and it is expensive if I have to pay out of pocket. We are already trying to figure out how we are going to pay the current bills...I don't need another one added in.

I think I have done enough rambling...if you made it to the end of this, congrats. I know it's a lot of dribble, but it makes me feel better to get everything off my chest.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Where Does The Time Go?

Tomorrow is the last morning I get to sleep in. Tuesday it is back to getting up at 5:20 am and helping the kiddos get off to school.

Where did the summer go?

In fact, where did this last year go?

It seems like only yesterday that we moved into this apartment. Heck, it seems like only yesterday that Ryan was born. It doesn't seem right that I am 37 years old, and that next year is my 2o year HS reunion. I have no intentions of going, but it's just crazy thinking that I have been out of school for so long.

When did I get so old????

On a different note, I got on the scale the other day...and was pleasantly surprised. Seems I have lost about 21 pounds in the last couple of months. I blame losing our food money to buy food means there is no food in the house to eat. The sucky thing is that I am so heavy, people don't notice the loss. But that's okay. I tend to do better when people don't know I am losing. I am hoping I can keep this up, which shouldn't be too hard with the kids back in school. I may even break out the old Richard Simmons tapes.

We went to the movie in the park the other night, and I was kind of disappointed when we left early. It's times like that when I hate being depended on other people for transportation. Sure, the kids weren't watching the movie...they were playing frisbee. I wasn't watching either...I was too busy gossiping with Missy. I hated that they left because we felt like I ruined the whole night. But, the time we were there was great! Kasi won something this time, a crock pot cook book. I was looking through it before, and there are a few recipes I would like to try. I also came home with the breakfast cookbook Missy won last time...she knew I was drooling over it, and let me have it...she has such a huge heart!...and there are tons of recipes in that one that are calling my name.

Other than that, it has been a quiet, boring weekend, which is what I enjoy.

I hope you had a good one, too.

Thursday, August 13, 2009


We met with the new therapist today. Kelsey was there too, but this was our last session with her. I don't know what I think about the new lady. While Kelsey was young and quick to laugh, the new therapist is a little older, and, maybe is a good word. She is soft spoken, yet animated, and when she speaks it feels like she is hugging you. Is she a good fit for us? I'm not sure. Junior doesn't think so. I told him we need to give her a chance, and not be dismissive without getting to know her a little better. Besides, we only see her every other week, and in 6 months she graduates the program and we'll get someone else, so in reality, we will only see her about 12 more times. I am hoping she can put a new perspective on Junior's issues, and maybe help him see things in a different, and maybe better, way than Kelsey did. We'll see.

I have had one of those days today, though. The landlord called this afternoon about a car that belongs to a coworkers of Junior's that has been in our yard for the past 6 weeks. He keeps telling her to come move it, and she always has an excuse. Now the landlord said it has to go, so she needs to get it this weekend. If she doesn't, Junior said he will tow it back to where he got it from, which was a friend of her's house. Why do people have to be so difficult?

Then I get a letter in the notice...for our power bill. Seems I misread our bill, and thought we had until Monday to pay it. Turns out we had until 5pm yesterday. That's right. I got a notice today, saying the current balance was due yesterday, or they would disconnect. I got right on the phone, and tried to make payment arrangements. They wouldn't even consider it because I didn't call yesterday before 5. This was an honest mistake on my part, and now instead of the $113 that was past due, they want all $273. They wouldn't even just take the past due. So I called Junior at work to ask him what we should do, when Ryan came inside and said there was a guy behind the house walking around. Sure enough, the power company came to disconnect. I had to BEG the man to give me an hour to go pay it, and he was nice enough to do that for me. But now I don't know how I am going to cover the extra money THAT I DON'T HAVE in my account. It will be in there next Friday, but I am sure the check will hit the bank before then. It seems like every time we do something around here, everything else goes to shit. We take our first vacation in two years, and things fall apart.

BUT, I am not stressing. The worst that is going to happen is the bank pays the check, and slaps us with a $34 fee. I can live with that. I can not, however, live without power. We kinda need that to stay cool and play online :).

I am hoping the rest of today is uneventful. I have started the kids back on their bedtimes, and we are slowly getting back into our school routines. The only thing left to get are book bags, and that's something their Nana does for them every year as a "back to school" kind of thing. We're going to the last movie in the park with her this weekend, so we'll probably hit a walmart before the movie.

Anyway, I gotta run. Junior just got back, and we have a yard to straighten up. All the camping stuff is still thrown everywhere, and it needs to be put back in the shed. I may as well go help...

Wednesday, August 12, 2009


Aside from kasi's little adventure, we had a wonderful camping trip. We swam, we fished, we tanned. I can not remember the last time I just did nothing. And I mean N O T H I N G! When we got up Thursday morning, it was about 9. We ran and got ice for the coolers, and were back and in the lake by 10. I spent all day swimming and floating around on my float. I cooked burgers on the grill for lunch, and hot dogs for supper. The kids ate whenever they wanted, whatever they wanted. I can not remember the last time they went so long without arguing.

I can not even begin to explain the feeling of helplessness that I felt when kasi fell into the fire pit. I didn't know what to do for her. She wanted ice, which I later found out was a bad idea. I did the only thing I could...I got her to the hospital. It's so hard knowing there is nothing you can do to make your child better. Luckily, it never really mom told my sister she could have burned the nerves, which would block the pain. They gave her some lortab at the hospital, more for themselves, I think. They kept telling her it was okay if she said it hurt, because it SHOULD hurt. That was the first time she has ever taken a pain pill like that, and she was quite loopy. It did help her sleep, which is what she needed. I thank God that she didn't burn her face, because that's how she fell...face first. She put out her arm to protect her face. It was also luck that she didn't fall into the flame. That would have been really bad.

We call Kasi klutz, because she is always falling and stuff. This was typical Kasi, falling like she did. Earlier in the day, when they were at the park, she fell chin first into the ground, and skinned her chin and both knees. It's amazing that she has yet to break a bone.

Friday, I felt so bad for her. I was ready to come home so she would be more comfortable. She insisted that we stay. She couldn't get wet, but she put her feet in the water and fished.

Anyway, I remembered what it felt like to have no worries. For four days, I didn't worry about the bills. I didn't worry about how many comments I was getting on my blog. I didn't stress over the fact that I fell off the front page of entrecard because I didn't drop for four days. I wasn't checking the computer every thee minutes for open opps.

I enjoyed my family. They are the four most important people in my life, and it felt wonderful to give them all of my attention. Kasi and I played cards, Brandi and I found critters (I have pictures of her snail and turtle and frog) and Ryan and I swam the lake.

I can not wait to go back next year.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Just Some Rambling

Therapy was good on Thursday. We didn't meet the new therapist, which kinda sucks, because now we just have one week with both of them before Kelsey leaves the program. It was a weird hour, because we really didn't talk about anything. We did talk about the kids, which was nice. I am all about bragging about my kiddos.

I am doing better...the tooth is finally giving me a break. I can no longer put off having it pulled, and will do it once the kids get back in school and I can come up with the money. Hopefully it won't be too long, because I have a feeling the pain will be back sooner than it normally is. I have been battling with this tooth for years, and it has NEVER hurt this bad before. I am actually looking forward to it being gone.

Kasi is off with my mom for the next few days. My brother and his wife went on a cruise, and my mom is babysitting their girls. Since my mom has fibromyalsia, she needs Kasi to help her run up and down the stair, and entertain the kids. My phone rang last night, after 10, and it was Kasi. Everyone else was sleeping, and I think she was a little lonely. She was about to get upset, so I told her we would come and get her. (she's an hour away) She said she way okay, and wanted to stay, and then asked to talk to Brandi. I love that my girls are close. Brandi was bored out of her mind yesterday because she missed her sister. Kasi will be home right before we leave to go camping on Wednesday.

I have almost everything packed, except for clothes and towels. I need to do some laundry first. I am so afraid that I am going to forget something...we'll see.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

I Heart Antibiotics

My mouth feels so much better today. I think the antibiotics have finally kicked in. I tried not to take the pain medicine today, but didn't last too long before I popped some pills. I think the anti-inflammatory stuff in the pain pills help, so I will take them for a few more days. I actually got some housework done, which was a nice change from laying in the bed crying.

Hopefully tomorrow I can get the rest finished before therapy. I am pretty sure we will meet our new therapist tomorrow, and that should be interesting. I hope she has a good personality.

I'll let you know!

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

My Trip To The ER

Okay, so when Junior got home from work yesterday, I told him I was ready for some relief. I knew it was too late to go to the dentist, so he took me to the ER. On the way, a storm hits, complete with lightning and thunder. We get to the hospital, and the ER parking lot is PACKED! I was happy I grabbed my James Patterson book as we headed out the least I had something to pass the time. As we were walking in the parking lot, my flip flop hit a slick spot, and I went down on one knee, and my pants got all wet. I skinned my knee pretty good, too. Of course, there were tons of people around, and I was completely embarrassed.

We walk in the ER, and there are people everywhere. In this hospital, you go through stages before you see the doctor. There is the main waiting room when you first walk in, and this is where you wait if the receptionist is busy. Luckily, we walked right up, and I told her my jaw and ear hurt. She sent me to triage, which is behind the closed doors of the ER. After triage, you are sent to the second waiting room, where you wait forever to get into an exam room. While in triage yesterday, the nurse asked why I was there, and I told him that my jaw and ear hurt. I don't know if he thought I was having a heart attack or something, but he sent me directly to an exam room. Nice.

When the nurse came in the exam room, she asked why I was there, and I told her. She finally asked if I injured my jaw in any way, and I told her the pain started in my tooth a couple of weeks ago, but now it was in my jaw and ear. She looked in my mouth, felt my jaw, and said the doctor would be in in a couple of minutes. (I have been here before...a couple of minutes usually means about two hours!) Not ten minutes later, the doctor came in, and he checked out my ear, jaw, and mouth. He said my ear was white (it should be pink) because of all the pressure built up behind it. He also said the muscles are pulled tight over my jaw, because of the swelling, and that is what was causing the pain. Then he looks at me, and says.

"Here's what you do...go see a dentist"

This is where I lost it. I looked at him and was like, you can't help me????

He responded with a "I'm not that mean!".

This is where I lost it. I cried like a baby as he told me he was going to give me antibiotics and pain medicine, and that he would give me something good before I left so I would feel better. He stressed that I needed to have something done with this tooth, though, because the pain will eventually come back. He recommended a dentist...told me to save my pennies...and get it pulled. Then as he left the room, he turned and said,

"God doesn't give you more than you can handle."

That got me crying even more.

Then the nice lady came in with two percocets, and she became my best friend. Although it did make me loopy, it didn't really get rid of the pain. The prescription he gave me for pain is an anti-inflammatory too, but I am still hurting. It makes me sleepy, but I am having trouble staying asleep, because it wasn't enough that my mouth hurts....I started my you know what yesterday, too, and I never sleep good while I have that. I am just glad it happened this week, because we go camping next week, and that really would have sucked.

For now I am sitting with ice on my mouth, trying to decide what to have for supper. Opening my mouth hurts, so I avoid talking and eating. I know, imagine that. The kids have been so good, though. I think they enjoy taking care of me sometimes.

Monday, July 27, 2009

I'm A Mess

At the risk of getting yelled mouth is killing me! I say mouth because the pain is no longer in my tooth, it's in my jaw and ear. I am debating going to the doctor...only I don't have a doctor so it will be a three hour trip to the ER. I just can't take the pain anymore. It has made me an emotional wreck, and I need some relief. I need some sleep. I just need something done.

At least I am in the middle of a good book, so maybe the wait will go by quickly.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

For All Things...

...there is a reason.

The past few days I have been trying to figure out why my luck has gone in the crapper. Maybe luck is a wrong word choice, so let me explain.

I was doing really well with the paid posting. For a couple of months in a row I made over $750 a month. Then google took away my PR3. I thought this would be the perfect time to change that blog to a dot com. I do that, and the next day I get the PR3 back, but my blog no longer has that Url. That particular blog is now a PR0, and as most of you paid posters know, you don't get a lot of opps for with that ranking. I still have a PR2 on my kids blog, and have gotten a few opps for that one, but no where near what I was making.

I have been thinking about it, though, and believe there is a reason. All summer I have been tied to the computer, trying to grab opps when they become available. Maybe this is God's way of making me back off a little, and spend some quality time with my family. The past week has been great. I've been swimming with the girls, last night I sat on the kitchen floor with them and played with playdough. Today we went out to lunch and shopping, and I wasn't preoccupied, thinking about what opps I was missing. I enjoyed the time with my family, and the kids had a great time playing at the Chick-Fil-A playland. We seldom go here, so it was a treat for them.

My point? I am hoping that when google does another re-rank in the next couple of months, when the kids are back in school, that I get my PR3 back. Until then, I am going to enjoy my kids.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Things Are Looking Up

My tooth is finally starting to feel a little better. Wait, that's not true. My tooth is feeling a lot better. This makes me happy, because I am going to take the kids to the movie in the park tonight, and I don't want to be in agony.

The a/c is also fixed...yay! we are cool again.

I'm off...time to start getting the kids bathed.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

When Life Gives You Lemons

Things can never be uneventful around here for too long.

Kasi and I were watching television earlier, and the a/c unit started making a funky noise. I woke up Junior, and he diagnosed that the fan stopped. No longer working.

I asked if he could fix it, and he said he would have to take it apart, again, tomorrow, and see what he can do. I have everything crossed that he can fix it, because we don't have the money to buy a new unit.

I guess I will spend tomorrow in the pool with the girls. Hopefully it won't rain, even though it is supposed to.


We had therapy today, and it was kind of a waste of time, therapy wise. We basically just sat around talking about whatever popped up, nothing really spectacular. Somehow we got on the subject of why I don't drive, and the rules I have for the drivers of whatever car I am in. (Missy is the only person who hasn't freaked me out with her driving...I didn't scream one time in her truck) I had Kelsey cracking up. She claims we always make her laugh, and we do do a lot of laughing in therapy. In fact, we laugh a lot everywhere we go.

I laughed and talked more in that hour than I have in the last week. After we left, Brandi and I ran into walmart, and I was at the checkout, and I got a pain in my tooth so bad it made me instantly nauseous, and I almost passed out right there. I think it was from using my mouth so much. Luckily, supper and some tylenol made me feel a little better, and my tooth is back to being just a steady achy pain.

I can not wait until it feels completely better.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009


I forgot to mention...I am losing weight. Not a lot, mind you, but I'm losing.

Yay for me!

Good Intentions

I always neglect this blog. I think it's because I usually come here to bitch a little, and lately, I haven't had much to bitch about.

And that's a good thing.

We (Junior and I) are trying to get everything together to go camping in a few weeks. We didn't gp last year, because of my surgery, so it's been two years since we've been. Plus, we moved, and have no idea where half the stuff was put. I am making a master list, so hopefully we won't forget anything.

It's going to be weird to be away from the computer for four days, but I believe it will be good for me. I bought three books at the dollar tree to keep me busy, and there will be lots of swimming and fishing. I need a break. I need some relaxation, and so does Junior. He's really looking forward to this.

Don't worry, I plan on taking way too many pictures.

I have been fighting an awful toothache. It's the bottom right wisdom tooth, and this happens a couple of times a year. I finally...fingers crossed...knock on wood...have the pain under control with tylenol. It still hurts, but the pain is bearable, and I'm not sitting here in tears like I was a couple of days ago.

Tomorrow it's back to therapy. Who knows what we'll talk about. I'm pretty sure she will have another therapist in the room, maybe even the one who will take over our sessions. I hope we feel comfortable with her, because I don't want Junior to quit going. I think therapy has been really good for us.

Oh well...I have housework calling my name...must get to it. I'll try to not be so long between posts anymore, but no promises.

Monday, July 6, 2009

I Didn't See This Coming

I started doing this paid posting thing about eight months ago. At first, it was fun making money while being home with the kids. Today, my brain is fried. There are days where the opps are slow coming, and then there are days like today where there are so many my head feels like it will explode. I am in no way complaining, because we need the money, but I just don't have anything else to write about today. My brain is fried. That said, I have something to say.

The weirdest thing happened today. Junior was sitting in the van on break, eating breakfast this morning when his dad pulled up beside him. He asked Junior if we wanted to come to a cook out at his house.


We haven't had anything to do with this man for almost a year, and he wants us to come over and have a cookout? Junior told him no, obviously. Now, had Junior said yes, we would have gone. This whole thing with his family was his decision, as much as certain people would like to blame me. I am supportive of my husband, no matter what he decides.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Today's Session

Last time we went to therapy, Kelsey (our therapist) had another therapist sit in. I asked her today if that meant that she was leaving, and she said she was. Turns out she is graduating from the program in August, so she is turning us over to someone else. I'm not too sure how I feel about this, or about how Junior feels about it. We are very comfortable with Kelsey, and I hope whoever she decides to give us to shares of thinking? I'm not sure that's the right way to say it...maybe therapy style? I feel like we might have to start over, and I'm not sure Junior wants to. He has been doing so good with the kids, and dealing with his anger towards his family. I don't know if that will continue if he stops therapy. I hope it will. He's been going for almost a year now, and he has made so much progress. I am so proud of him.

More Me

In my last post, I mentioned wanting to make this blog more "me".

Miss Donna responded with:

"I'm missing "the purple love" in here!!! And Where's the Elephants????"

And she was right. What is more me than elephants and purple?

So I went to work this morning, and redid things. Do you like it?

I love it!

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

July Already

Seriously, where has this year gone?

We finally figured out when Junior will take his vacation. It's not until August, and it will be nice to get away. We're going to go camping for a few days. We are going to go to Lake Greenwood, which is where we went two years ago. If we reserve it in the next week or so, we can get the same campsite, which we loved, It was right on the water, so Junior and Ryan will fish while the girls and I swim and hang out. It's been two years since we've been, and we had so much fun then. I'm hoping we will have just as much fun this time.

I have been doing good. Junior and I have been fighting...or should I say I have been mad at him and he has been trying to make me less mad at him. I won't go into detail, but he did something he knew would tick me off, and it did. We're working through it, though, like we always do. Therapy tomorrow, but I don't mention our marital crap there. Therapy is Junior's time, not mine. I am just there to be supportive.

My mom bought the kids a pool, and my dad supplied enough chemicals for the summer, so the kids have been doing nothing but swimming. If you read any of my other blogs you know this already. Oh, speaking of blogs, I bought a dot com domain for my craft blog, and hopefully can get that set up in the next couple of days. I need the help of a friend, so it all depends on when she is available. Google dumped the ranking on that one from a 3 to n/a, so I needed a way to get some opps, and going dot com helps. I redid the look of it, too. I'm thinking of overhauling this one too, but we'll see. The kids blog is about family, the craft is about crafts and stuff, the picture is about, well, pictures, and this one is about me. All mine. I want it to reflect who I am. I'm still trying to figure that out.

Friday, June 19, 2009


It's been almost a month since I have written anything over here. I was toying with shutting this blog down, but decided to just keep on keeping on.

Junior and I had therapy yesterday, and it had been a month since we had seen Kelsey (due to sickness). We fell back into it easy enough, and spent the hour talking about Junior's parents. We had run into his dad at the grocery store, so we discussed Junior reaction to that, and the fact that the kids didn't want to talk to him. I would never tell them they couldn't, but they decided on their own that they didn't want to. He has been not so nice to each of them at one time or another, and in the past year, they have gotten to the point where they don't have anything to say to him. The same holds true for Junior's mom. I never said they couldn't speak to her, but they have decided not to. I know I am giving them a lot of decisions to make at such young ages, and sometimes I wonder if I am doing the right thing. When I look at the love they get from my mom and dad, I wish they could have that from Junior's side of the family. But in the almost 14 years we have been together, Junior's family has never been close. That is one of the reasons we are in therapy. It's not for couples counseling, but for junior to work through the hurt he feels. It was funny, but at one point yesterday, Kelsey said that I am Junior's rock, always being strong when he falls apart. She asked him if he could look at me and tell me he appreciates me. I just busted out laughing, because we know what we mean to each other, and I'm not an overly affectionate person, and shit like that makes me uncomfortable. But, he did, and then we were all laughing. That's one of the things I love about our therapist...she gets our sense of humor, and we keep her laughing.

So...Monday is my wedding anniversary. 14 years. Some days it feels like a day, and some days it feels like it's been fifty years. I know I'll be saying the same thing in another fourteen years.

Thursday, May 21, 2009


It feels weird tonight. No Survivor. No ER. No Harper's Island. Nothing I wanted to watch on television, so I watched a movie. A really cute movie I'm going to write about on my other blog.

This afternoon Junior and I ventured to therapy. It's been two weeks since we've seen Kelsey, but we picked up right where we left having issues with Junior's need for revenge, and him seeing nothing wrong with it. I haven't really talked about that much on here, but my husband seems to think that every person who has ever done him wrong needs to pay for that somehow. He has a long list of offenders, and I don't agree with that. I think he should be the better person and let things go. That's what we're working on. Finding middle ground.

I brought up Kasi's birthday party, because it really bothered me that he spent the entire party inside, avoiding people. I thought it was rude, regardless of his reasons. He could have at least came out for a few minutes, and talked to everyone. There was one point where it was just me, my sister Colleen, and Sam and Missy sitting outside talking, and he was inside watching television. This was after everyone else had left. We sat out there for probably an hour, just talking and hanging out. He didn't come out once. (Missy ~ I hope you guys didn't think he was totally rude) I know he has a hard time with how close my family is, because he has never had that. But I want him to be a part of this, and he has been in the past, but the past few months have been hard on him, and I don't know why. So we talked about that today, and I hope next time he will be more sociable.

I have been doing okay. The kids are winding down in school, only a week and a half left. I will be happy when I don't have to get up at 5:20 every morning. I don't even remember what it's like to sleep more than three straight hours.

On a side note, I am watching Seinfeld and the sound is off. It doesn't match their mouths, and that annoys me to no end.

I took Missy's advice today, and took a bunch of pictures of the stupid dog next door. I think we are going to go down to the management office tomorrow and get them to do something about it. I hate to have to move, but I refuse to live next door to a pit bull. Especially one that keeps pooping in my yard.

Alright, I need to get going. I have other posts to write, and it's getting late.


Monday, May 11, 2009

Shall I Ramble Again?

Got on the scale again this morning...down another 3 pounds. Must have been the workout my fat behind got on Saturday helping my brother. I'm not complaining...I like the numbers going down...I just need to keep them going in that direction.

Did a little shopping for Kasi's party today. I am getting excited to see everyone...missy, you're still coming, right?...I just hope it doesn't rain. It rained in October, and we learned then that my house is just too small for so many people...besides, I want the kids to be able to get wet. I have water balloon plans...sshhhhhh.....

I have so much to do cleaning this house, too, but I always wait until the last minute. Friday I want to get all the food ready, and Saturday I need to get the yard done. I need to send an email asking people to bring their own outdoor chairs...I don't have enough. We weren't able to borrow the sno cone machine, but saw one in wal-mart for $15 we might get...we have the syrup left over from October...that stuff doesn't go bad, right, if i keep it in the fridge? Maybe I'll just get some more....

Too many decisions to make!

Thursday, May 7, 2009


Therapy was kinda hard today. Not for Junior, but for me.

We started talking about his mom.

I tried for MANY years to get Junior to talk to his mom. They were not speaking when I met him 14 years ago, and it took up until I was pregnant with Brandi for him to really have anything to do with her.

Most of you know that all changed last year right around the time his dad's wife kicked him out, and I had my surgery. I became the bad person because I wanted to protect my family. I did what any mother would do...I put my kids, and my husband, before anyone. That meant making hard choices. Some of those choices were perceived the wrong way. This lead to certain members of Junior's family pretending to be other people to get close to me on facebook and my blogs. The one on facebook I caught right away. The other took me a few months, and I can not believe I didn't catch it sooner. As soon as I mentioned on my blog about my suspicions, this "blogger" closed her blog. Coincidence? I don't think so.

Kelsey, our therapist (she's "our" therapist now! lol), wants me to think about coming in and doing a private session with her, because she saw how upset talking about things made me today. Junior refuses to talk about his mom, even in therapy. He doesn't think that relationship is worth repairing. That is his choice, not mine. I wish things could be different with some members of his family. It makes me sad that my kids lost all their cousins and aunts and uncles and grandparents. I do, however, tell them all the time that just because we don't see or talk to them, that doesn't mean that they don't love them. I refuse to hurt my kids more, and I refuse to talk bad about Junior's family to them. Even though it has been almost a year since we've moved and his dad has not asked ONE TIME how the kids are, I won't let them believe that he doesn't love them. Even though Junior's mom is not actively in their lives, I let them know that she does love them. My kids know they are loved, by many, many people, and that is what is important.

Do I wish things could be different? Absolutely.

But I can not change who I am, nor do I want to.

And Junior's family has made it clear that they do not like who I am.

And for me, that will be hard to forgive.

Wait...what was the point of this? I got kind of side tracked there. Oh, yeah, that I need to see Kelsey privately, or that she wants to see me privately. I guess it's a good thing, because I do have a lot of anger towards his mom. Well, maybe not towards his mom, as about the situation with his mom. Does that make sense?

My head is spinning right now, and I need to clear it so I can sleep tonight. I'm just so thankful that my kids have my mom...the one person they know they can count on besides Junior and I.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009


Tomorrow is therapy again. It's our first time going in the afternoon with brandi, so it should be interesting to see if she likes hanging out in the waiting room. It's been a pretty good week, so there shouldn't be much to discuss....

other than Junior's dad going into The Home Depot and telling Junior's boss that he should fire the useless asshole they have working in lumber.

Can you feel the love?

I oozes out of every word that comes out of that man's mouth.

What kind of a father tries to get his son fired, knowing he is working to support his wife and three kids...HIS grandchildren? I just don't get it.

BUT...we have moved on, and Junior's boss knows what's going on, and when Junior asked why he didn't tell him...we heard it from the man who was with his dad at the time...he said it was because the only thing his dad accomplished was making himself look like an idiot.

Well, yeah.

But anyway, enough of that. I got on the scale this morning, and am down another couple of pounds. Yay me! I was shocked when Junior came home from work today and started talking about what we could do to lose weight. He started his new schedule, and has been home by 2:30 every day. He was saying how he wants to start going to the park and walking every day when he gets off...

HELLO!!!! I have been saying this for MONTHS!!!! But, as long as we start doing it, that's all that is important. I am really excited about it, actually. It will be nice to be doing SOMETHING, ya know?

Um....haven't heard anything about the applications I filled out. I know it's only been a couple of days, but I was hoping. Actually, what I am really hoping is that my friend Nicole gets a job so I can keep her daughter again, that way I don't have to work. I have been doing pretty well with the paid posting, and would love to be able to stay home and do this, plus keep a kid. That would be perfect. But, life is not perfect, so we'll make due. I could always go back to fast food...even though I DO NOT WANT TO! I am getting too old for that. Maybe I'll apply at the dollar store...that would be wonderful! I just can't work for minimum wage. It's so frustrating.

Mother's Day is Sunday. I won't get to see my mom, she will be spending the day with my brother's family. My kids, however, have lots of things planned for me. I hope the first thing on their list is letting me sleep in. I need about eight hours of straight sleep. The past few weeks I have gotten just broken sleep, and my body feels it. I feel like I have a newborn again. I need sleep....

...which is where I should be heading right now, but I won't. I'll stay up and drop my ecards at midnight, head to bed around 1, get up at 3 to get Junior up, then back up at 5:15 to get the kids to school....