Like I Need Something Else To Worry About

***Okay, so I just finished writing this post, and it ended up being long, and kind of whiny at times.  Consider yourself warned.

So, did you all read about Junior's hand?  If not, you can read about it here.  I am still trying to wrap my head around it all.

I am optimistic, though.  I keep praying that the infection will respond to these new antibiotics.  I remember when I first started going to the doctor about my boob, they said the same thing to me.  They gave me a whopping dose of antibiotics, and then wanted to see me 12 hours later to see if there was any improvement.

There was.

I am hoping the same thing happens with Junior.  Actually, I am praying the same thing happens.  We, as a family, depend on him.  We have no savings (living paycheck to paycheck sucks!) and if he is out of work, I have no idea what we will do.  Thankfully, he has three weeks of vacation he can take, but that will wipe out any chance of us vacationing at all this year.

He is not taking this whole thing well.  I can not help with changing the dressing.  I almost passed out just looking at it before.  He had to shove the new gauze in the hole himself.  It hurt.  I have never seen him in so much pain.  And he has to do this twice a day.  Thank God they finally gave him some good pain medicine that is working to dull the pain.  He is half stoned right now, but that's okay.  I like seeing him like this more than I like seeing him in pain.

I am trying to stay up until 2am, when he needs to take his next dose of antibiotics.  This new one is 300mg four times a day, on top of the other one he started on Wednesday.  Too bad this new one wasn't a $4 walmart medicine like the other one was.  The gauze we had to get was almost a dollar a sheet.  The doctor prescribed 20 sheets, which would have been almost $18.  Thankfully the pharmacist recommended getting half to start with, and if we need more we can get the rest.  I don't think we will need anymore, because Junior only put about a one inch square piece in the hole, and we have 9 sheets of 1X8 that we are cutting up.  We should have only bought four sheets, or even three to start with, but oh well.  This shit might be good for other cuts, too, if someone in the family gets hurt.

You know what?  I think I am rambling.  I am sure no one really cares about what size gauze we bought, but I feel better just rambling on.  It helps me deal.  I was so stressed before, I went into Ryan's room and played my favorite video game for a couple of hours.  That helped me relax.  I am such a video game junkie, especially when I find a game I like.

Tomorrow my grandmother is coming up from Florida.  I am looking forward to seeing her.  It's been a while, and the kids are excited, too.  But, with Brandi running a temperature, we'll have to see if we'll be going over there (to mom's) tomorrow.  I think, and don't yell at me, that she got too much sun yesterday (we were in the pool all day).  She didn't burn (she had on tons of sunscreen) but I think she might have just overheated herself.  So, from now on, I will limit her, and my, time in the pool.  It's just so nice being in the water.

My sunburn is looking great!  I peeled, then peeled again, and now I am getting tan.  Trust me, though.  I am wearing a lot of sunscreen, too.

My weight?  Frustrating.  I was sure that once I started swimming, the weight would come off.  But it's not.  My sister recently posted some pictures from our Tennessee trip, and I was in a few of them.  I hate having my picture taken.  I HATE it.  I hate my mouth and my smile.  (I am not fishing for compliments about how beautiful I am...I know I'm beautiful...but that doesn't mean that I can't hate something about myself)  Anyway...I look fat in the pictures.  Not as fat as I was last year, but still fat.  I have so much more weight to lose, and I want to be on the right track, but it is so hard!  I love to eat as much as I hate having my picture taken.  I have been trying to eat better, and I have been.  But I still slip, especially when chocolate and peanut butter are involved.

God, this is turning into a whiny post now, isn't it?  I think I might need to go to bed.  I can always set the alarm to get up and give Junior his medicine. 

If you made it to the end of this post, well, that must mean you love me. :)

I Heart Antibiotics

My mouth feels so much better today. I think the antibiotics have finally kicked in. I tried not to take the pain medicine today, but didn't last too long before I popped some pills. I think the anti-inflammatory stuff in the pain pills help, so I will take them for a few more days. I actually got some housework done, which was a nice change from laying in the bed crying.

Hopefully tomorrow I can get the rest finished before therapy. I am pretty sure we will meet our new therapist tomorrow, and that should be interesting. I hope she has a good personality.

I'll let you know!

My Trip To The ER

Okay, so when Junior got home from work yesterday, I told him I was ready for some relief. I knew it was too late to go to the dentist, so he took me to the ER. On the way, a storm hits, complete with lightning and thunder. We get to the hospital, and the ER parking lot is PACKED! I was happy I grabbed my James Patterson book as we headed out the door...at least I had something to pass the time. As we were walking in the parking lot, my flip flop hit a slick spot, and I went down on one knee, and my pants got all wet. I skinned my knee pretty good, too. Of course, there were tons of people around, and I was completely embarrassed.

We walk in the ER, and there are people everywhere. In this hospital, you go through stages before you see the doctor. There is the main waiting room when you first walk in, and this is where you wait if the receptionist is busy. Luckily, we walked right up, and I told her my jaw and ear hurt. She sent me to triage, which is behind the closed doors of the ER. After triage, you are sent to the second waiting room, where you wait forever to get into an exam room. While in triage yesterday, the nurse asked why I was there, and I told him that my jaw and ear hurt. I don't know if he thought I was having a heart attack or something, but he sent me directly to an exam room. Nice.

When the nurse came in the exam room, she asked why I was there, and I told her. She finally asked if I injured my jaw in any way, and I told her the pain started in my tooth a couple of weeks ago, but now it was in my jaw and ear. She looked in my mouth, felt my jaw, and said the doctor would be in in a couple of minutes. (I have been here before...a couple of minutes usually means about two hours!) Not ten minutes later, the doctor came in, and he checked out my ear, jaw, and mouth. He said my ear was white (it should be pink) because of all the pressure built up behind it. He also said the muscles are pulled tight over my jaw, because of the swelling, and that is what was causing the pain. Then he looks at me, and says.

"Here's what you do...go see a dentist"

This is where I lost it. I looked at him and was like, you can't help me????

He responded with a "I'm not that mean!".

This is where I lost it. I cried like a baby as he told me he was going to give me antibiotics and pain medicine, and that he would give me something good before I left so I would feel better. He stressed that I needed to have something done with this tooth, though, because the pain will eventually come back. He recommended a dentist...told me to save my pennies...and get it pulled. Then as he left the room, he turned and said,

"God doesn't give you more than you can handle."

That got me crying even more.

Then the nice lady came in with two percocets, and she became my best friend. Although it did make me loopy, it didn't really get rid of the pain. The prescription he gave me for pain is an anti-inflammatory too, but I am still hurting. It makes me sleepy, but I am having trouble staying asleep, because it wasn't enough that my mouth hurts....I started my you know what yesterday, too, and I never sleep good while I have that. I am just glad it happened this week, because we go camping next week, and that really would have sucked.

For now I am sitting with ice on my mouth, trying to decide what to have for supper. Opening my mouth hurts, so I avoid talking and eating. I know, imagine that. The kids have been so good, though. I think they enjoy taking care of me sometimes.

I'm A Mess

At the risk of getting yelled at....my mouth is killing me! I say mouth because the pain is no longer in my tooth, it's in my jaw and ear. I am debating going to the doctor...only I don't have a doctor so it will be a three hour trip to the ER. I just can't take the pain anymore. It has made me an emotional wreck, and I need some relief. I need some sleep. I just need something done.

At least I am in the middle of a good book, so maybe the wait will go by quickly.

When Life Gives You Lemons

Things can never be uneventful around here for too long.

Kasi and I were watching television earlier, and the a/c unit started making a funky noise. I woke up Junior, and he diagnosed that the fan stopped. No longer working.

I asked if he could fix it, and he said he would have to take it apart, again, tomorrow, and see what he can do. I have everything crossed that he can fix it, because we don't have the money to buy a new unit.

I guess I will spend tomorrow in the pool with the girls. Hopefully it won't rain, even though it is supposed to.

*******************************************************************

We had therapy today, and it was kind of a waste of time, therapy wise. We basically just sat around talking about whatever popped up, nothing really spectacular. Somehow we got on the subject of why I don't drive, and the rules I have for the drivers of whatever car I am in. (Missy is the only person who hasn't freaked me out with her driving...I didn't scream one time in her truck) I had Kelsey cracking up. She claims we always make her laugh, and we do do a lot of laughing in therapy. In fact, we laugh a lot everywhere we go.

I laughed and talked more in that hour than I have in the last week. After we left, Brandi and I ran into walmart, and I was at the checkout, and I got a pain in my tooth so bad it made me instantly nauseous, and I almost passed out right there. I think it was from using my mouth so much. Luckily, supper and some tylenol made me feel a little better, and my tooth is back to being just a steady achy pain.

I can not wait until it feels completely better.