Saturday, August 29, 2009

Yard Sale Failure

Junior's ex mother-in-law, Jean, asked me last week to do a yard sale with her this morning. Even though I had nothing to sell, I agreed to help her out. Junior got together a few old power tools, and I brought all of my signs, you know, the "welcome" and "keys" signs that I make?

We spoke to her last night, and she asked us to be at her house by 7. Well, I don't do mornings well, so we got there around 8.

She wasn't there.

Since I brought my own table, Junior and I set up, and waited.

And waited.

Not one car stopped all morning.

Jean finally came out of the house around 9, and said she had too much to do, and wouldn't be able to do the yard sale with us.

By 11, we were ready to call it quits.

As we were getting ready to pack up, she came over and asked what we would take for everything we were selling. Junior told her $45 for his stuff, and $40 for my signs.

She bought it all. I wish I had sold my signs individually, I would have made more money, but now she has Christmas gifts for her family, and I have some cash, which is much needed around here. Of course, it is going right to bills, but they were bills we couldn't pay yesterday, so that's good.

It just sucks having no "play" money, although I did spend a little of my paid posting money to get Kasi a Christmas gift for all of $4.

I wish it was February...we really need that tax refund right now.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Can This Be Right?

I got on the scale this morning, and was convinced it was broken.

Since Kasi was weighed at the doctors office two weeks ago, I knew what she would weigh, so I had her get on the scale when she got home.

My scale says she is four pounds heavier than the doctors scale.

Okay, so my scale is off, but in the wrong direction.

I thought it was weighing lighter, not heavier.

So, according to my scale, not the doctors, I have lost about 25 pounds, give or take a few ounces.

I guess there is a good side to stress and not having money to have junk food in the house. Since it's not here, I don't eat it, and apparently, that was a big issue for me.

I hope this trend continues....

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Tuesday

How's that for a title?

So, it's Tuesday. We still don't have a solution to our monetary problem, and the check places refuse to work with us right now. They are going to try and cash the checks, and then get into contact with us. That means about $100 in NSF fees, but what can we do?

It is what it is.

Free milkshakes from Zaxby's helped today. We have been so broke, eating out has not been an option, so going to a restaurant, even though it was just for milkshakes, was fun. The first one we went to, we waited about 45 minutes for them to tell us they ran out of shakes, so they gave us coupons for free shakes. As we were leaving, Ryan ran up to the counter and asked for his coupons, and got three more free coupons, and two strawberry shakes.

I really wanted my shake, so we went to another Zaxby's, and saw that they had signs on the doors saying they were out of shakes, too. We went in anyway, figuring we would get more coupons, but when we went to the register, the cashier said they did have shakes. Seems kind of wrong to put up signs saying you don't when you do, but whatever. In the end, we all ended up with our chocolate shakes, and I have 8 coupons for free shakes.

On another note, Junior and I got the kids back on their medicaid...thanks God...and we are going to reapply for food stamps. I used the online calculator, and it says we should get about $185 a month, which isn't too much, but will definitely help out a bunch. I also got the letter saying they qualified for free breakfast/lunch...have I mentioned that already???...which is a huge burden lifted. I am also going to reapply online for some jobs, but am not very hopeful. My friend Nicole has been looking for months, and says no one is hiring, not even minimum wage jobs.

I guess we will just continue to take it one day at a time, and see what happens.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

All Cried Out

We went fishing this morning with my mom. I was so on edge, ready to break down at any moment, and after about five minutes in my moms car, I lost it. I think she asked if Junior was in a bad mood, and I just started bawling.

Then I spent most of the rest of the day crying.

But, I feel better being able to talk things over with my mom. She offered to try and help us, but I can't let her. She has enough going on right now, she doesn't need to worry about my problems. That was why I didn't want her to know in the first place.

I am still not sure what tomorrow will bring.

I still don't know how we are going to get through this.

But I know we WILL get through it.

And I KNOW that I have so many things to be thankful for, because there are so many people who have less than we do.

I am blessed to have family, and friends, who listen and offer words of wisdom.

I have my health, and my kids are healthy, and Junior is healthy, and employed.

I am contributing, and there should be a google update soon, and hopefully I will make more money after that...I have my fingers crossed for 3's on my blogs...not this one, though. This is where I vent, and I don't network this one like I do the others.

I know there is a brighter day on the horizon...I just need to get there.

Less Stressed

If you happened to have visited last night or early this morning, you got to read a post I wrote that, looking at this morning, was too"woe is me" and whiny, so I took it down. I felt like sharing my current situation sounded like I was asking for money, and that was totally not my intention. I was just really down, and needed to get things off my chest, and because my sisters don't really understand money issues, and would think I was asking for money, I don't talk to them. It was nice, though, to vent a little.

That's what this blog is all about.

Oh, and thanks to Sabrina and Miss Donna for their kind words...I love you guys!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Lost

I have been looking forward to the kids starting school for a few weeks now, but now that they have, I don't know what to do with myself. Sure, I have my housework, but in an apartment this small, it doesn't take very long to get everything done. The quiet was nice the first day, but now I kind of miss the chaos.

I need to get over myself and find something to do.

I sit here at the computer a good part of the day, waiting for opps and stuff, but that gets boring really quickly. I was going to make some meatballs today to freeze for later use (I got a huge things of meat on sale yesterday) but I don't have breadcrumbs. Hopefully I will still be motivated to do that tomorrow...if I can talk Junior into going out later for some breadcrumbs. I made a turkey a couple of days ago, so we have been eating the leftovers of that. Last night, Kasi sat and pulled the meat apart, then I simmered it with barbecue sauce..it tasted just like a pulled pork sandwich, but better for you, since it was turkey breast. Man, my mouth is watering just thinking about it.

I have been trying to come up with cheap meals, since we are low on grocery money. (we're low on ALL money, but that's another post) It's expensive feeding a family of 5. Luckily, according to the paperwork we filled out, the kids should qualify for free lunch. That will be a big relief.

Remember a few months ago I applied online for a job? I never heard from ANYONE! I can not believe that the grocery stores aren't even hiring. Even fast food places are getting more applications than they know what to do with. I could probably go back to McDonald's, but I just can't do it. I didn't exactly leave on good terms, and the store I worked at, and the store closest to me have the same owners. I don't want to come off sounding racist, but both stores now have more Mexican workers than white workers, and all the do is speak Spanish to each other. I wouldn't even understand them! I have my fingers crossed that when the next google update happens, I will get my pr3 back, so I can make better money online, so I can continue to work from home. It would be hard for the kids if I wasn't here in the evenings. Junior can do a lot of things, but homework help and baths are kind of my territory. I don't think he would have the patience for it. (I don't bathe the kids myself anymore...that would be weird...but I do have to have some type of schedule to get everyone done...and Junior isn't a schedule kind of guy...and I would probably end up with stinky kids who hadn't bathed in weeks)

Anyway, I am getting excited about all my new nieces or nephews who are going to be born soon. My older sister Tami is scheduled to have Jake on Sept. 18, and I can not wait! I know she is more than ready to have him. Colleen, my youngest sister, should have her little one the end of October...she is due around Ryan's birthday...the beginning of November...but will have a scheduled section, so they will do that a week or so before her due date. My brother and his wife just found out recently that they are having twins...she is due the end of March. I don't think she will make it that far, because she has delivered all four other kids early. That's four babies in the next seven months! I need to get crocheting! lol!

I got the bill the other day from the hospital we took Kasi to when she burned her arm...almost $1000. I think it was around $960. I think that is a little excessive for cleaning a burn and slapping some cream on it. I am hoping once we get them reinstated on their Medicaid, they will cover it. I was told they go back three months, so it shouldn't be a problem. I just hope it doesn't take too long for them to push the paperwork through, because Ryan needs his medicine every month, and it is expensive if I have to pay out of pocket. We are already trying to figure out how we are going to pay the current bills...I don't need another one added in.

I think I have done enough rambling...if you made it to the end of this, congrats. I know it's a lot of dribble, but it makes me feel better to get everything off my chest.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Where Does The Time Go?

Tomorrow is the last morning I get to sleep in. Tuesday it is back to getting up at 5:20 am and helping the kiddos get off to school.

Where did the summer go?

In fact, where did this last year go?

It seems like only yesterday that we moved into this apartment. Heck, it seems like only yesterday that Ryan was born. It doesn't seem right that I am 37 years old, and that next year is my 2o year HS reunion. I have no intentions of going, but it's just crazy thinking that I have been out of school for so long.

When did I get so old????

On a different note, I got on the scale the other day...and was pleasantly surprised. Seems I have lost about 21 pounds in the last couple of months. I blame losing our food stamps...no money to buy food means there is no food in the house to eat. The sucky thing is that I am so heavy, people don't notice the loss. But that's okay. I tend to do better when people don't know I am losing. I am hoping I can keep this up, which shouldn't be too hard with the kids back in school. I may even break out the old Richard Simmons tapes.

We went to the movie in the park the other night, and I was kind of disappointed when we left early. It's times like that when I hate being depended on other people for transportation. Sure, the kids weren't watching the movie...they were playing frisbee. I wasn't watching either...I was too busy gossiping with Missy. I hated that they left because we left...it felt like I ruined the whole night. But, the time we were there was great! Kasi won something this time, a crock pot cook book. I was looking through it before, and there are a few recipes I would like to try. I also came home with the breakfast cookbook Missy won last time...she knew I was drooling over it, and let me have it...she has such a huge heart!...and there are tons of recipes in that one that are calling my name.

Other than that, it has been a quiet, boring weekend, which is what I enjoy.

I hope you had a good one, too.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Thoughts

We met with the new therapist today. Kelsey was there too, but this was our last session with her. I don't know what I think about the new lady. While Kelsey was young and quick to laugh, the new therapist is a little older, and more....um....mothering, maybe is a good word. She is soft spoken, yet animated, and when she speaks it feels like she is hugging you. Is she a good fit for us? I'm not sure. Junior doesn't think so. I told him we need to give her a chance, and not be dismissive without getting to know her a little better. Besides, we only see her every other week, and in 6 months she graduates the program and we'll get someone else, so in reality, we will only see her about 12 more times. I am hoping she can put a new perspective on Junior's issues, and maybe help him see things in a different, and maybe better, way than Kelsey did. We'll see.

I have had one of those days today, though. The landlord called this afternoon about a car that belongs to a coworkers of Junior's that has been in our yard for the past 6 weeks. He keeps telling her to come move it, and she always has an excuse. Now the landlord said it has to go, so she needs to get it this weekend. If she doesn't, Junior said he will tow it back to where he got it from, which was a friend of her's house. Why do people have to be so difficult?

Then I get a letter in the mail...final notice...for our power bill. Seems I misread our bill, and thought we had until Monday to pay it. Turns out we had until 5pm yesterday. That's right. I got a notice today, saying the current balance was due yesterday, or they would disconnect. I got right on the phone, and tried to make payment arrangements. They wouldn't even consider it because I didn't call yesterday before 5. This was an honest mistake on my part, and now instead of the $113 that was past due, they want all $273. They wouldn't even just take the past due. So I called Junior at work to ask him what we should do, when Ryan came inside and said there was a guy behind the house walking around. Sure enough, the power company came to disconnect. I had to BEG the man to give me an hour to go pay it, and he was nice enough to do that for me. But now I don't know how I am going to cover the extra money THAT I DON'T HAVE in my account. It will be in there next Friday, but I am sure the check will hit the bank before then. It seems like every time we do something around here, everything else goes to shit. We take our first vacation in two years, and things fall apart.

BUT, I am not stressing. The worst that is going to happen is the bank pays the check, and slaps us with a $34 fee. I can live with that. I can not, however, live without power. We kinda need that to stay cool and play online :).

I am hoping the rest of today is uneventful. I have started the kids back on their bedtimes, and we are slowly getting back into our school routines. The only thing left to get are book bags, and that's something their Nana does for them every year as a "back to school" kind of thing. We're going to the last movie in the park with her this weekend, so we'll probably hit a walmart before the movie.

Anyway, I gotta run. Junior just got back, and we have a yard to straighten up. All the camping stuff is still thrown everywhere, and it needs to be put back in the shed. I may as well go help...

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Relaxed

Aside from kasi's little adventure, we had a wonderful camping trip. We swam, we fished, we tanned. I can not remember the last time I just did nothing. And I mean N O T H I N G! When we got up Thursday morning, it was about 9. We ran and got ice for the coolers, and were back and in the lake by 10. I spent all day swimming and floating around on my float. I cooked burgers on the grill for lunch, and hot dogs for supper. The kids ate whenever they wanted, whatever they wanted. I can not remember the last time they went so long without arguing.

I can not even begin to explain the feeling of helplessness that I felt when kasi fell into the fire pit. I didn't know what to do for her. She wanted ice, which I later found out was a bad idea. I did the only thing I could...I got her to the hospital. It's so hard knowing there is nothing you can do to make your child better. Luckily, it never really hurt...my mom told my sister she could have burned the nerves, which would block the pain. They gave her some lortab at the hospital, more for themselves, I think. They kept telling her it was okay if she said it hurt, because it SHOULD hurt. That was the first time she has ever taken a pain pill like that, and she was quite loopy. It did help her sleep, which is what she needed. I thank God that she didn't burn her face, because that's how she fell...face first. She put out her arm to protect her face. It was also luck that she didn't fall into the flame. That would have been really bad.

We call Kasi klutz, because she is always falling and stuff. This was typical Kasi, falling like she did. Earlier in the day, when they were at the park, she fell chin first into the ground, and skinned her chin and both knees. It's amazing that she has yet to break a bone.

Friday, I felt so bad for her. I was ready to come home so she would be more comfortable. She insisted that we stay. She couldn't get wet, but she put her feet in the water and fished.

Anyway, I remembered what it felt like to have no worries. For four days, I didn't worry about the bills. I didn't worry about how many comments I was getting on my blog. I didn't stress over the fact that I fell off the front page of entrecard because I didn't drop for four days. I wasn't checking the computer every thee minutes for open opps.

I enjoyed my family. They are the four most important people in my life, and it felt wonderful to give them all of my attention. Kasi and I played cards, Brandi and I found critters (I have pictures of her snail and turtle and frog) and Ryan and I swam the lake.

I can not wait to go back next year.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Just Some Rambling

Therapy was good on Thursday. We didn't meet the new therapist, which kinda sucks, because now we just have one week with both of them before Kelsey leaves the program. It was a weird hour, because we really didn't talk about anything. We did talk about the kids, which was nice. I am all about bragging about my kiddos.

I am doing better...the tooth is finally giving me a break. I can no longer put off having it pulled, and will do it once the kids get back in school and I can come up with the money. Hopefully it won't be too long, because I have a feeling the pain will be back sooner than it normally is. I have been battling with this tooth for years, and it has NEVER hurt this bad before. I am actually looking forward to it being gone.

Kasi is off with my mom for the next few days. My brother and his wife went on a cruise, and my mom is babysitting their girls. Since my mom has fibromyalsia, she needs Kasi to help her run up and down the stair, and entertain the kids. My phone rang last night, after 10, and it was Kasi. Everyone else was sleeping, and I think she was a little lonely. She was about to get upset, so I told her we would come and get her. (she's an hour away) She said she way okay, and wanted to stay, and then asked to talk to Brandi. I love that my girls are close. Brandi was bored out of her mind yesterday because she missed her sister. Kasi will be home right before we leave to go camping on Wednesday.

I have almost everything packed, except for clothes and towels. I need to do some laundry first. I am so afraid that I am going to forget something...we'll see.