Four Days

I can not believe it's four days until Christmas. I am getting excited, though, because we have been able to get the kids (mostly) what they asked for. Sometimes angels come out of nowhere and provide you with what you need, and today we experienced just that. I wrote this on my other blog, about how Junior found a visa gift card in his locker for our kids from "santa". With that I was able to get Kasi the backpack purse she wanted (which cost almost $30...which we didn't have) and I also bought Ryan a new psp game. Not a used one, a new one. Tomorrow I plan on getting Brandi the Wizards movie she wants (which is $20), and then they all have at least something specific that they asked for. They have other things, too, so it's going to be a great Christmas.

Junior and I have always tried to give to others, even though we don't have much ourselves. There have been times when Junior has fixed a strangers car for nothing, or helped a friend when they really needed it. We are always feeding friends who need it, and I am more than willing to provide free childcare for my friends when they need it. I am a big believer in "you get what you give". Getting that visa card today has made me look forward to being able to do something nice for someone else. It may not be tomorrow, or next week, but once we are back on our feet after the move, I am making it my mission to "pay it forward". I feel so blessed, and I want someone else to know this feeling, too.

We are going to my sisters for Christmas, and I am looking forward to spending time with Carson and Lylah. Carson is at that age where everything about Christmas is exciting, and new, and I am looking forward to watching him open his gifts. We are going to my dads on Christmas Eve, and they will be there, too. I love that I get to spend so much time with my sister and her kids...I wish I saw my other sisters as often, too, but they live so far away. I know I am lucky that my family is so close. So many people dreading the holidays, and having to spend time with their families. Junior used to be one of those people. I am so happy he has been able to fit right in with my family, well, at least with some of them. I still get the feeling that certain members of my family aren't too fond of him, but I think that is because they have never taken the time to get to know him. Those who know him, know that he has the biggest heart, and that he would do anything for anyone. Sure, he is a little rough around the edges, but that's what I love about him.

I was also thinking of doing the "end of the year...year in review post", but to be honest, I don't want to relive this past year. It was a tough one, and should be left where it is...in the past. I don't need to be reminded of our financial issues, therapy, breakdowns, living in a crappy apartment that is falling in on us, or any of that. I just want to look forward to 2010, and make it the best year we've had in a while.

Not too much to ask, right?

Six Weeks Later...

We finally made it back to therapy yesterday. Things went well...they dug a little deeper, and brought up some things Junior doesn't like to talk about, and call it progress. I guess in a way it is, but I hate seeing him so upset.

I say they because we have a new therapist, again. When we were turned over to Cindy way back when, she said she would only be with us until December. Yesterday she brought in a new student, Elizabeth, who will be taking us over. I like her...Junior isn't too sure yet. She's young, and seems to have a different approach to things, and I think that is what is helping Junior the most. Every new therapist has a different way of bringing things out of him, and if yesterday was any indication of what the next six months will hold, I think we are finally heading towards "revelation".

It's weird, but every therapist praises us on our relationship, which to me is just normal. It's just us. It's nothing out of the ordinary. It's just us supporting each other, no matter what.

I guess in this day and age that is a rare thing to find.

And that is pretty sad.

Therapy, Moving Mom, and Swimming

Therapy Wednesday...the first time in six weeks.

The funny thing is, nothing has happened that is worth talking about.

And that is a really good thing. The only bad thing is that Junior sees this as a reason to quit going. I think that's a bad idea. I know nothing has happened lately, but he still hasn't gotten to the bottom of all his issues, and I think he needs to before he stops.

Besides, I am sure it is only a matter of time before his dad shows back up at his work. Just today Ryan was outside with him, and they saw his dad drive by our house really slow, checking things out. He thinks he's slick because he bought a new vehicle. What he forgets is that my kids bus goes by his house every day, and they are not stupid kids. They told Junior the day the new van showed up. I really don't care, but this bothers Junior that he is driving by again.

I personally think the man needs to get a life. He should be focusing on the two kids who still speak to him, and leave us the hell alone.

Just my opinion.

Anyway, I can not believe Christmas is only three weeks away. Talk about stress! Junior gets paid next week, and we have to shop for all the kids out of that. I am hoping to put off a few bills, but there are some that need to be paid. I have accepted the fact that the kids will be disappointed, but I know my mom is getting them the big things they asked for, so I know they will be happy about that. Somehow Brandi talked her into getting her a hamster, which we all know will become my responsibility. It's a good thing I have experience in this area.

My mom is moving this weekend, which should be fun. It looks like it will be my brother, Ryan and I doing all the work. Colleen can't help because she had surgery recently, and isn't fully healed. Junior has a transmission he already agreed to fix for a coworkers daughter, and Mike has to work. But, I am sure we will get it all done, and mom can start settling in to her new place. Did I mention it has an in ground pool? I will be over there all the time this summer. I love swimming, and it's been a long time since I have been in a "real" pool. Now to focus on losing some weight before wearing a bathing suit in public.

I guess that's about all for this rambling session. I know I keep promising to do better over here, but it's hard. For a stay at home mom I am so busy these days. I have a hard time finding the time to do anything. Hopefully once the new year is here, I can slow down a little.

Maybe then I won't have so many migraines.

Hello, Hello, Hello

What a great week last week was! I was so busy, and it was so worth it. I got to hang out with family and great friends, and for the most part, I enjoyed every second of it.

I say for the most part, because of course there were moments when I wished the kids were in school and I could find a moment for myself. In an apartment this small, no one has any privacy. Sometimes it can be extremely frustrating. Some days, the only quiet I find is taking a shower.

I can not wait until we move.

We got all the Christmas decorations put up and the tree is assembled. It has lights on it, but no ornaments. The girls are going to do that when they get home from school. Ryan has no interest, which I kind of expected. Junior was going to "make" him participate, but I talked him out of it. He's a 14 year old boy, and this behavior is to be expected, right? I know in a few years he will start wanting to do things as a family again, and I can wait. I don't want to pressure him to do something just to say he did it, you know what I mean?

I found out over the weekend that I am going to be an aunt to another niece, which is awesome. I found out by reading an update on facebook, which kind of hurt my feelings, but whatever. Some things are not worth getting upset about, and as long as the baby is healthy, (which she is) that is all that matters. Now I get to make three little girls name signs, which I am excited to do! I love making girl things.

I finally figured out what all my nieces and nephews are getting for Christmas this year, and it cost me a total of about $8 for all 12. Amazing, right? Thanksgiving night I was sitting, figuring up what bills I could pay with Juniors check Friday, and it dawned on me that he will only get one more paycheck before Christmas. Talk about your heart stopping! I am no where near finished shopping for my kids, and the thought of spending money on anyone else is out of the question. Luckily, inspiration struck when I found something on sale Black friday at Michael's. It's not much, but I believe in the "it's the thought that counts" philosophy, and I did put a lot of time into the gifts, so that's gotta count for something, right? I will post pictures of the ones I made for my kids on my craft blog soon.

I am also planning Brandi's birthday party, and thankfully I planned it so that it is after food stamps kick in for this month. She wants to invite kids from school, but with her being my 3rd kid, I know that kids this age don't come. It wasn't until about 5th grade that Ryan and Kasi has friends come to their parties, and I don't want her to be disappointed. Besides, my house is way to small.

She wants a "wizards of waverly place" party...this kid can't be easy! lol! My mom is in charge of the cake, and since she has no idea what "wizards" are, it should be interesting to see what she comes up with.

Let's see....what else has been going on???

Oh, I lost another 3 pounds. I know, it's crazy. I was totally expecting to see a gain on Saturday morning when I finally got up the nerve to get on the scale, and it showed a loss. I was shocked. I didn't exactly eat well last week, but thinking back, the days we ate badly, I ate badly one meal, and that was pretty much the only time I ate that whole day. Maybe that had something to do with it. I am pretty much convinced that there is something going on with me...maybe blood sugar issues...causing me to lose weight, but I have yet to muster up the courage to google "unexplained weight loss". I really don't want to freak myself out.

I guess that's about it. This week should be quiet, and hopefully I will get the house cleaned and some opps done. Fingers crossed! lol!

Neglected, Once Again

I don't know why I forget to write over here.

Life has been busy lately. I have a feeling it's just going to get busier with the upcoming holidays. Over the weekend, Brandi put up the Christmas decorations around the house. She did a pretty good job, too. We still have to put up the tree, and for the first time in a really long time, I am not looking forward to it. I think it's because I hate where we live, and it's hard to be festive when the paint is peeling off the ceilings and you are constantly removing slugs from the kitchen floor.

But, this weekend, we will put it up, and it will be beautiful. Brandi's birthday is next Friday, Kasi has several chorus concerts coming up, we still haven't really Christmas shopped for the kids, I have baking to do for tomorrow and Thursday...I am just completely overwhelmed, but in a good way. The busier I am, the faster the next three months will go, and the faster we will get out of this hell hole.

Deep breath.

I have been doing good. I got to see New Moon last Friday with Missy, and we had a blast. the movie was awesome, and I spent the day with no kids, which NEVER happens. It was wonderful. I am still holding steady at 35 pounds lost, and am hoping to make it through the holidays without weight gain. I really want to lose some more weight, and know that I will have to work for it. Losing what I have because of stress was not healthy, and I want to do this the right way. I am still feeling good about myself, which is new for me.

Junior and I missed last therapy session, and will have to cancel this Wednesday, too. Kasi has to go back to the dermatologist to get her stitches out, and hopefully the toxicology report will be back so we can find out what she has growing back there. The ointment that I have been rubbing in twice a day seems to be helping, but she still has a ways to go before it is all gone. I miss talking to Cindy, and we were supposed to have that new therapist sit in, too. Hopefully we can schedule something for next week instead of having to wait for another two.

Things have been quiet around here...no drama, which is wonderful. The kids are happy, Junior and I are great, as always. It's so nice to not have any negativity in our lives. It really does make a difference when you surround yourself with people who lift you up, instead of people who constantly tear you down.

On that note, I am going to finish cooking my pancakes in cafe world.

Slowdown...Who, Me?

I love being at home. I love days when I do not have to get out of my "comfy" clothes. It seems like the past couple of weeks, I have been "going" more than I have been "staying".

It started when my sister had the baby the day before Halloween, and it hasn't stopped yet. Friday was Ryan's birthday, so we went out to dinner. (for the kids birthdays, they get to pick the restaurant) We invited Missy and her gang to join us, and as usual, we had a blast! I didn't even realize we were in the restaurant for over 2 hours! Of course, it was Golden Corral, so between laughs and babies, we were all shoving our faces. It was sooo good, and of course I left with a tummy ache. In fact, i think we all did! lol! Juior's ex-mother-in-law also met us there, and I think she had a good time, too.

Then yesterday, it was up early to get ready for my niece's 3rd birthday party. They live about an hour away, and of course I wanted to go see Lylah first. The party was fun for Brandi...it was a princess party, and all the little girls dressed in princess dresses. They all looked adorable! We didn't stay long after...my mom has a hard time driving that far in the dark...and headed for a little more time with Collen, Carson, and Lylah. After a yummy dinner of Chinese food, we all hung out for a little while, and then I came home and took some cold/allergy medicine and crashed in bed by 9:30.

As soon as I got up this morning, we went fishing for a bit...no bits so we came back home and just chilled. I had a little ache in my back yesterday that turned into severe pain today every time I move, so I have been keeping the heating pad on it. My mom says to ice it, but it's hard to get the ice exactly where I need it.

The next three days are going to be a little busy, too. Tomorrow we have to pick Kasi up from school for a doctor's appointment. I love my doctors...we have been using them for about 10 years now. But, the latest appointment of the day is 4pm, and Kasi gets off the bus later than that every day, so we have to go pick her up early so she can make her 2:30 appointment. I am taking her for her rash, and am hoping we won't need to make a trip to the dermatologist.

Tuesday is the 10th...food shopping day! Then Brandi is in a Veterans Day program at her school. Don't worry...there will be TONS of pictures taken...maybe even a little video, if Ryan can find his video camera.

Wednesday is therapy. That means it will be at least Thursday before I can be lazy all day. Hopefully I can make some money from some posts this week between the craziness...Christmas is coming, and I have presents to buy! lol!

Hello, Blog World

I am sick. I have a nasty cold complete with congestion and runny eyes. I have never had the eye problems before, and it is really annoying. I have spent most of the day drying the tears that continuously run down my face.

Not fun.

We went yesterday and straightened things out with our landlords, so for now we are just waiting for everything else to bounce, and then have the stores get into contact with us.

The good thing is that there is finally a light at the end of this tunnel.

It may take us a few months to get there, but at least we can see it.

That makes a big difference in my stress level.