It's been almost a month since I have written anything over here. I was toying with shutting this blog down, but decided to just keep on keeping on.
Junior and I had therapy yesterday, and it had been a month since we had seen Kelsey (due to sickness). We fell back into it easy enough, and spent the hour talking about Junior's parents. We had run into his dad at the grocery store, so we discussed Junior reaction to that, and the fact that the kids didn't want to talk to him. I would never tell them they couldn't, but they decided on their own that they didn't want to. He has been not so nice to each of them at one time or another, and in the past year, they have gotten to the point where they don't have anything to say to him. The same holds true for Junior's mom. I never said they couldn't speak to her, but they have decided not to. I know I am giving them a lot of decisions to make at such young ages, and sometimes I wonder if I am doing the right thing. When I look at the love they get from my mom and dad, I wish they could have that from Junior's side of the family. But in the almost 14 years we have been together, Junior's family has never been close. That is one of the reasons we are in therapy. It's not for couples counseling, but for junior to work through the hurt he feels. It was funny, but at one point yesterday, Kelsey said that I am Junior's rock, always being strong when he falls apart. She asked him if he could look at me and tell me he appreciates me. I just busted out laughing, because we know what we mean to each other, and I'm not an overly affectionate person, and shit like that makes me uncomfortable. But, he did, and then we were all laughing. That's one of the things I love about our therapist...she gets our sense of humor, and we keep her laughing.
So...Monday is my wedding anniversary. 14 years. Some days it feels like a day, and some days it feels like it's been fifty years. I know I'll be saying the same thing in another fourteen years.