I have always feared change. I am a creature of habit...I love my routines.
Lately, my life has been anything but routine. I have changed so much, and I am finding that I love the new me.
I am so happy.
For the past 16 years, I have lived for my family. They were my everything. I didn't have many friends, and none were close friends. I guess you could say I had acquaintances. These days, I have friends. Friends who love me for me, and who are helping me so much as I figure out where I am meant to be at this point in my life. My family has been amazing as well. I don't know if I would have made it through the past two months without their help and support.
I am truly blessed.
I have realized that there are people I can depend on, and people I can't.
I have confidence, and not only because I have lost weight, but because I like who I am now. On the inside as well as the outside.
I realized that being a single mom is hard. Really hard.
But I can do it. I am doing it. Sure, I have to depend on people to help me, and as I said, I am lucky to have people I can depend on.
My kids are still my life. I live for them. I work for them. I do everything I can for them.
But I have also learned that I need to do things for myself as well. I am not to the point where I want to date, but it's nice knowing that I will have that option. It's nice having friends I can go out to the bar with every once in a while to listen to some music and just hang out.
I can't believe how much I love driving, and it kills me that I waited almost 40 years to do it. I can't help but think about how different my life would have turned out if I learned to drive when I was a teenager. I wonder if it would have made a difference in my marriage?
I am counting down the months until I can get my divorce. There is, obviously, no chance of a reconciliation, and I want to get on with my life. I hate that I have to wait a year, but at least it gives me something to look forward to.
I probably won't be blogging for a while, with the move and all coming up. I have been slack with it anyway, and the paid offers are few and far between these days. I guess that's what happens when you stop networking. My numbers are horrible, and I don't even really care anymore.
I have more important things going on now...