Like I Need Something Else To Worry About

***Okay, so I just finished writing this post, and it ended up being long, and kind of whiny at times.  Consider yourself warned.

So, did you all read about Junior's hand?  If not, you can read about it here.  I am still trying to wrap my head around it all.

I am optimistic, though.  I keep praying that the infection will respond to these new antibiotics.  I remember when I first started going to the doctor about my boob, they said the same thing to me.  They gave me a whopping dose of antibiotics, and then wanted to see me 12 hours later to see if there was any improvement.

There was.

I am hoping the same thing happens with Junior.  Actually, I am praying the same thing happens.  We, as a family, depend on him.  We have no savings (living paycheck to paycheck sucks!) and if he is out of work, I have no idea what we will do.  Thankfully, he has three weeks of vacation he can take, but that will wipe out any chance of us vacationing at all this year.

He is not taking this whole thing well.  I can not help with changing the dressing.  I almost passed out just looking at it before.  He had to shove the new gauze in the hole himself.  It hurt.  I have never seen him in so much pain.  And he has to do this twice a day.  Thank God they finally gave him some good pain medicine that is working to dull the pain.  He is half stoned right now, but that's okay.  I like seeing him like this more than I like seeing him in pain.

I am trying to stay up until 2am, when he needs to take his next dose of antibiotics.  This new one is 300mg four times a day, on top of the other one he started on Wednesday.  Too bad this new one wasn't a $4 walmart medicine like the other one was.  The gauze we had to get was almost a dollar a sheet.  The doctor prescribed 20 sheets, which would have been almost $18.  Thankfully the pharmacist recommended getting half to start with, and if we need more we can get the rest.  I don't think we will need anymore, because Junior only put about a one inch square piece in the hole, and we have 9 sheets of 1X8 that we are cutting up.  We should have only bought four sheets, or even three to start with, but oh well.  This shit might be good for other cuts, too, if someone in the family gets hurt.

You know what?  I think I am rambling.  I am sure no one really cares about what size gauze we bought, but I feel better just rambling on.  It helps me deal.  I was so stressed before, I went into Ryan's room and played my favorite video game for a couple of hours.  That helped me relax.  I am such a video game junkie, especially when I find a game I like.

Tomorrow my grandmother is coming up from Florida.  I am looking forward to seeing her.  It's been a while, and the kids are excited, too.  But, with Brandi running a temperature, we'll have to see if we'll be going over there (to mom's) tomorrow.  I think, and don't yell at me, that she got too much sun yesterday (we were in the pool all day).  She didn't burn (she had on tons of sunscreen) but I think she might have just overheated herself.  So, from now on, I will limit her, and my, time in the pool.  It's just so nice being in the water.

My sunburn is looking great!  I peeled, then peeled again, and now I am getting tan.  Trust me, though.  I am wearing a lot of sunscreen, too.

My weight?  Frustrating.  I was sure that once I started swimming, the weight would come off.  But it's not.  My sister recently posted some pictures from our Tennessee trip, and I was in a few of them.  I hate having my picture taken.  I HATE it.  I hate my mouth and my smile.  (I am not fishing for compliments about how beautiful I am...I know I'm beautiful...but that doesn't mean that I can't hate something about myself)  Anyway...I look fat in the pictures.  Not as fat as I was last year, but still fat.  I have so much more weight to lose, and I want to be on the right track, but it is so hard!  I love to eat as much as I hate having my picture taken.  I have been trying to eat better, and I have been.  But I still slip, especially when chocolate and peanut butter are involved.

God, this is turning into a whiny post now, isn't it?  I think I might need to go to bed.  I can always set the alarm to get up and give Junior his medicine. 

If you made it to the end of this post, well, that must mean you love me. :)