I'll tell ya'll about therapy in a sec. First I want to discuss my miraculous weight loss.
I say miraculous because I have no idea how I am still losing weight. Okay, maybe I was clued in a little bit today, and few weeks ago, but still.
Let me explain.
Ever since Junior switched to the 4am work schedule, I have been staying up until 2am every night to get him up and off to work. Then I go to bed, get up at 5:15 to get the kids up and ready for the bus, take them to the bus stop, come back home and try to sleep until about 11:30 on most days. That is what time I set the alarm for, but more times than not, I am up before 10.
A few weeks ago, when we were dealing with all the rental issues, Junior was home for a few days. On those days, he would continuously ask me if I wanted something to eat, and I would say no.
He asked me if I ever eat, and I told him yeah, I just wasn't hungry that day. Or the few days he was home. Turns out, I was just too busy to eat. When I get up for the day, I get on the computer and do what paid posting I can. This may seem easy to some people, but for me it is difficult sometimes. Not only do i have to do the paid posts, but I have to do interesting posts in between. I will admit that some days, my filler posts suck, but my life is not exciting enough to warrant six posts a day. That is when I talk about television and movies.
Anyway, today Ryan was home from school, and he asked if he could fix me lunch. I told him i wasn't hungry, and that was when it hit me.
On any typical day, I only eat supper.
Then a snack or two while I try to stay up until 2am.
But that's it.
No wonder I am losing weight.
This past month it was only about 3 pounds, I think, bringing my total to 35 pounds lost. Not too bad for not trying. I have clothes that I am wearing that haven't fit in years, so I can definitely tell I'm losing. People have also been commenting on it, which is nice.
Now if I could just lose about 50 more....
Junior and I went to therapy yesterday. We switched days because I was going to apply for that candle job, but that didn't work out. We met with Cindy, and the first thing she did was tell us what happened with Bob.
He didn't feel like he did anything unprofessional, and felt ambushed when Cindy spoke to him about things in front of their supervisor. She said he was mad at her for a while, but he got over it, and things are good between them. She then asked if we would mind if she brought in another student...a young girl just starting out...next session. We said we didn't mind, so it should be interesting.
As far as the session went, we just hashed over things we have discussed in the past. There was one point where Junior pissed me off so bad I almost started crying. I don't remember specifically what we were talking about, but it had something to do with how he used to not care about drinking and fighting and crap, but since having kids he knows he can't do that anymore. Cindy asked what he meant, and he said something about the kids needing him, so he knew he couldn't screw up his life anymore. She asked if the kids weren't in the picture, and it was just him and I, would he have changed...and he said no.
He basically said that I wasn't worth staying out of trouble for.
Of course, as soon as he saw me react to that, he said he didn't mean it the way it came out, and that he just meant that he knew I was strong enough to take care of myself, but the kids aren't.
I know deep down he didn't mean it like that, because even before I found out I was pregnant with Ryan, he gave up his old ways, because I told him he had to choose...me or his drinking.
But it still hurt that he said it.
We are getting to the point in therapy where we are looking closer at our relationship, and how we are coping with being free of his family. Honestly, we are doing great. Better than ever. We may not agree on a lot of things, but when it comes to his family, I stand behind his decisions.
It was his choice to walk away.
It was his choice to sever ties.
It was his choice to let go.
It is my choice to support him, whether I agree with him or not.
It's his family...his decisions...and I will stand beside him.