Thursday, October 15, 2009

A Tough Decision

I think I mentioned, a few weeks back, that we lost our therapist at therapy. We ended up with a very nice woman, and a man(Bob), who junior was never really comfortable with.

Over the weeks, Junior never really warmed up to Bob. I was willing to give him a chance, but there were things he has said that kind of made me a little uncomfortable. For instance, a few sessions back, as we were wrapping up the hour, Bob said that he was going through a similar situation with his son that Junior is going through with his dad.

Weird. I didn't think the therapists were supposed to share so much about their personal lives. When Junior and I left, we began wondering what he meant. Was he acting like Junior's dad, and being toxic towards his son? Was his son treating him like Junior's dad does him? I was unsettled thinking about it, and told Junior that given the chance, I was going to ask Bob what he meant.

Next session, Bob starts telling us about his car problems. For 30 minutes of our 50 minute session, Cindy (our female therapist) and I just stared off into space while Bob and Junior talked cars. Cindy tried several times to steer the conversation back to Junior's issues, but Bob always ends up talking about himself.

At the end of every session, Cindy always asks if there is anything else we want to say before we end for the week, and I asked Bob about his comment the session before. He started saying how his son is a deadbeat, and can't keep a job, and how his wife is a drug addict, and they are raising his child...and then he pulled out his wallet and started showing us pictures.

Now, his situation is NOTHING like what junior is going through, and I found it extremely unprofessional that he shared so much about himself, and PICTURES! When we left, Junior and I both thought that maybe we should say something to Nancy next time we saw her.

This brings us to today.

Cindy came into the waiting room, and asked if it would be okay if we started our session with Bob because she had to take an emergency phone call, and she would join us in a few minutes. What could we say? So off we go with Bob, and he starts by asking how our last two weeks have been.

Fine. No stress with Junior's family, which has been nice. Then Junior brings up the incident with Ryan getting pushed at school. I won't go into all the details, but Bob ended up telling us how when he was a kid, he was fat, and the kids picked on him, so one day he turned around and punched a kid in the face and then sat on him. This was supposed to make us see that Ryan shouldn't fight back.

Okay, first off, Junior brought up the incident because we disagreed on how Junior handled the situation with the vice principal. I thought what he said to Ryan in front of her was inappropriate, and should have been discussed in private. We were not looking for advice on how to raise our son, and we certainly didn't need to know about Bob's childhood. Again, I found it a little strange that instead of counseling us, he was comparing us to him. That's not what therapists do.

When Cindy walked into the room a few minutes later, she tried to pick up on what we were talking about, but she couldn't follow. So while explaining, it to her, Bob made a comment about Junior being to old and ugly to live like he used to.


That was kind of the last straw. I knew Junior was upset, and I think Bob did too, because a few minutes later, he excused himself from the room. Cindy asked if we would excuse her, too, because she had something to tell Bob.

As soon as they were out of the room, Junior looked at me, and was furious. There were other things Bob said that upset Junior, but I don't want to say here because I still think some of his family are being sneaky and reading this. He started to say something when Cindy came back in, and totally shocked us by what she said.

She started by saying that she had too many clients, and that she was trying to find a few who wouldn't mind switching therapist. She asked us if we would like for Bob to become our only therapist, since he has been sitting in on our sessions, and knew us.

Um, no. She said okay, that she would continue to be our therapist.

Then we asked her if Bob could not meet with us anymore.

She asked why, so we told her everything I just told you guys, plus some.

The funny thing was, she said that she had also picked up on everything we said, but she thought it was just her. She said she would bring it up to their supervisor so that he could talk to Bob privately, and let him know what he needs to improve upon.

I feel really bed, because I know these therapists are students, and that they are learning. I don't want to hurt Bob's feelings, but I also want Junior to be comfortable with his therapist, or he will not want to go.

I believe he still needs to go. He is doing wonderfully, and I want him to continue down that path. I think talking to the therapist helps him to deal with things.

So for now, we will continue to see only Cindy. I also asked that she switch our session from Thursday to Wednesday, so that if I decide to apply for that candle job, I can be available on Thursdays.

See what happens when I wait so long to post over here? I have too much to say! lol!


Jenera said...

You made the right decision getting rid of Bob. I have never heard of such an unprofessional therapist! I hope it gets better for you guys.

Donna said...

Keep Cindy, lose Bob...the student. Speak Frankly! That's the Only way Cindy can help...and hug Junior...lots!