Tuesday, February 1, 2011

A Tiring Session

I hate getting upset in therapy.  I hate getting upset, period.  I am always exhausted after a good crying session, and right now I can barely keep my eyes open.  The good thing is, Bob and I worked on some stuff that has been bothering me, and we are in a better place now, I think.

Bob is going to see our family doctor soon to be tested for diabetes.  Our therapist is concerned about it, so we agreed to have him tested.  She thinks that could be contributing to his sleeplessness and emotional state.  Part of me is hoping she is right, because if she is, we can control it. 

I am trying so hard to be supportive, because I know he is going through a hard time.  I hate that some days I just want him to be happy.  I just want him to not mope around.  I want him to laugh.  Or smile.  Or something other than the depression.  Some days, I don't want to have to watch every word that comes out of my mouth because I am afraid of upsetting him more. 

It's hard watching the one you love hurt, but it's also exhausting.  It's tough always being the strong one.


Dawn said...

If you need to talk, you know where to find me !! *HUGS*

Crystal said...

Oh Jenn. I'm so sorry u are both going thru this. I can't imagine how difficult it is to see him and not be able to help him. HOPEFULLY it IS and easy diagnosis from the doc and he can get back on track. Does he go to the therapist by himself at all??

jenn said...

dawn ~ we definitely need to talk soon....especially after the photo shoot Monday. Will you be in Florida then?

jenn said...

Crystal ~ He doesn't go by himself anymore, and the therapist doesn't encourage that, because when he used to go alone, he never really opened up. When I am there, I will bring up things he wouldn't on his own. I just think with his dad dying, and us kind of going through a rough patch right now, things are just out of whack. We'll get through...we always do. It's just hard being the one who always has to put on the brave face, even when I don't feel like it.