Friday, June 11, 2010
I don't want this blog to be about my kids...this is my space. I just wanted to show you that I am enjoying myself this summer. Tomorrow we are having a cookout at mom's again, with my sisters mother-in-law. Today, my mom made it a point to tell me she would be there, Um, okay. I asked if she wanted me to not wear my bathing suit in front of her, and she said that's not what she meant. She just wanted to make sure that I knew that she was going to be there. I don't think she understands that I have had a sort of epiphany lately...I am fat. I know this. I am trying to lose weight, but it's hard. In the meantime, I refuse to let another summer go by without enjoying myself. People can tell I am fat whether I have on my bathing suit of shorts and a tshirt. I decided that this year, I am going to wear a bathing suit, and I don't care what anyone else thinks. I have spent the past 38 years of my life watching from the sidelines, worried about what people think of me. For some reason, this year, I say fuck it. Let people laugh at me. Let people judge me. I don't care.
And I have really, never been happier.